rainbows

2010-07-29T01:45:00.004+08:00

Inception is such a cool movie! Its mind blowing.
I for one have never thought of dreams within a dream.
(ya i know many ppl said they have. maybe im not that imaginative.)
And taking it down so many layers, introducing them a layer at a time, where in each layer, the dream goes on.
And being able to create and enter the dreamworld of someone else.
Super interesting.

I think i got like, only 3/4 of the full picture of the movie.
Which i suspect the full picture of the movie isnt even a full picture at all.
The person that created the movie probably didnt fashion it in a way that everything could be fully explained and fully understood.

But i just want to watch it over and over
till i can piece more of the puzzle pieces together,
till i can get the most complete picture of it that my mind possibly can.
The problem is, the more i think about it, there seems to be more questions popping out for me to answer rather than my current questions being solved.
Either i find someone who understands the movie better to discuss it with, or maybe i should just stop thinking about it. Hahhaha.

That said, the movie also made me realise a sad truth.
Our dreams are from our subconsious.
They are what our own minds create.
In the 2plus years that youve been gone, i have dreamt of you only three times.
But i was glad to think that there was still a place that you could be real to me.
A place that i could meet you, interact with you again.
A place, in my dreams.
I wanted so badly to dream of you again.
I prayed for it.
I was wrong.

Its just a facade. Just a shade of who you are.
Just my impression of you or memory of you or what i know of you.
It isnt you, truly, coming into my dreams.
It wasnt you. It wasnt real. It was just me.
No different from an imaginary friend.
No different from a lie.
He let her go.

The truth hurts.
But truth is still truth.
And someday, it may liberate me, as it liberated him.

Gosh, i miss you so.
Time healed the crying.
Time healed the grieving.
Can time heal this feeling of missing you?

Memorials were never meant to be held just once.
I know this: You were real. Your goodness was real. Our friendship was real.
And thats the truth.
These memories will be kept alive in my mind and in my heart.
And thats my hope and prayer.
i miss you.

2010-07-17T23:24:00.002+08:00

When we are young, we are taught that it is wrong to fail.
Perhaps that it not completely true.
It might not be a wrong to fail.
And it is a waste not to try, just because we are afraid to fail.
In fact it might even be a wrong to allow failure to keep us from trying for success.
Failure is a place that we can learn from.
So, being older and having realised all these, why do i still fear failure?
It wont be the end of the world.
It wont even result in the direct end of our lives. (usually)
Failure doesnt mean you'll never get there.
It doesnt mean its over.
Just that you might take a little longer.

If you fall down, get up, cus someday, you might just learn to fly.
And let's dare to venture out and try new things, cus you never know what might come out of it.
Dear God, help me surrender it all to you.
Bless me to be able to say, gladly, let Your will be done, even if it means staying put.
Bless my heart to trust in you, and not in myself or in the circumstances.
Bless me with faith, a willing heart, and to be your cheerful worshipper.
Because i have lost these somewhere along the way.
Im trying, so hard, to stay alive in here.
In Jesus name i pray, Amen.

Shepard of my soul,
May I give you full control
That wherever you may lead, i will follow
Come and be my guide,
Hold me closely to Your side,
Wherever You may lead, may i go~

2010-07-01T03:00:00.003+08:00

Dear God,

Please bless Michelle, Wint, Pao ling and i with 3 happy and peaceful nights ahead.

Please bless me to get to work with Pao ling,
cus i think it would be very nice and fun to work with her.

Please bless me to be able to sleep in the day for the next 3 days
and wake up in time and go early to work each night for this round of night.

Please bless me not to get 'jet lag' after this round of night
cus after my last round of night
i had my longest bout of 'jet lag' ever
cus it lasted like a few days more than an entire week and i was like,
lethargic and drained of half my usual energy for that whole week.
Which is a torture cus i still have to carry on doing the things
i would otherwise have done on a my 'normal full energy capacity' kind.

Please bless me not to have any admissions, deaths, falls, injuries/mishaps
during this round of night.

Thank you God, in Jesus' name i pray, Amen (:

It is 3am and i am giving in to the Zzzz monster soon. Night starts tml and i wonder what time i will get up. And i will have to stay awake from then till like 9am the next day. And working from 9pm-7.35am.

It always amazes me, ppl in their 30s and beyond who tahan shift work and ward nursing.
And i am so thankful that you called me to be a nurse while i am still young and have my energy (: may the best of my youth, be used in the best way that pleases you, my maker (: may i live for you, my God. Let this be a prayer~

i love you.

2010-06-30T01:57:00.004+08:00

Am so thankful for bonus~ ~ ~
Treated my family to ding tai fung for the first time.
And mum loved it! (: (: (:

PTL! 27/6/10 the day of a fairytale~

heex.

And dad said, "thank you. Get promoted tml also." hahahha i laughed and told him, "but the next promotion is another 4 years away leh!" XD

if i can even stay that long :x

we'll see (:

Cousin, Precious and the girls are next on the list (: Looking forward~

2010-06-30T01:51:00.002+08:00

i hadnt thought i'd graduate from nursing. i did.
i hadnt thought i'd pass prcp. i did.
i hadnt thought i'd pass probation. i did.
and i hadnt thought i'd get promoted.
but i did.

Indeed, you are faithful and true.
Where you lead, you provide.

Nursing requires everything i have and everything i dont.
But i belong to a God who is All in All (:

Bless me to be a good nurse.
One with a heart from you.

2010-06-15T00:17:00.002+08:00

Hi Rx.

Just wanted to say hi (:

I hope youre doing fine.

We are doing really fine, as promised (:

Its been 2 years...dun worry your friendship is remembered heex

Really appreciated the 3 years of friendship, jokes, stressing and mugging and rushing projects together, and your presence...you are one of a kind...so nice, kind, funny and easy going and there would never be another you...

Sad that it had to all end so soon....someday i will understand...

I miss you...

Rememer all the times together, and the times we were supposed to have together..

i walked into candy empire and soul garden and the pavilion at China town.
Think it would please you to know, if you could..

i wish i would dream of you again.

i wish that i could turn back time.

i wish i could have said more, done more, to help you understand.

i tried.

and if we were to meet again, you will know that i did.

i hope that it will have been my best. because im not sure if it is. but i did try.

Did i tell you, i work at 64 now? the place of our very first attachment. but totally different department.

You once said, when Louise left, that she was blessed to have so many people who love her, to send her off at the airport. You wondered if there would even be that many people if it were you migrating.

There were more people at your funeral. People that you have touched and helped, that were your family and friends, people that you have left an indelible mark upon.
But i guess you know that (:

im glad to have been your friend.
im blessed just to have known you.
Thank you for 3 wonderful years...
youre missed~ (:

2010-06-03T03:16:00.003+08:00

And its a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through

Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! oh~

So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now, from things they never found
They might be bigger, but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! oh~

Tonight we're stranded on our knees
To fight for what we've worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
Will we stand up champions tonight?

It was the night things changed, can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution,
throw your hands up 'cause we never gave in

We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

-Song: Change, by Taylor Swift.

i love her songs. And i think she's a really good role model.
i think this song pretty much speaks of what's happening in my life right now.
In the midst of all the external changes, i need to see the change that starts in me.
Sometimes, we do need a little push.
Time to jump the last hurdle.
High time.

Dear God, let me not waste the best of my years (:

2010-02-16T02:55:00.002+08:00

Waking up i see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down i look around and i am so amazed
I think about, the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brillant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And i'll hold on to it
Dont you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, i belong, im so happy here
Its so strong and now i let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brillant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And i'll hold on to it
Dont you let it pass you by

It's a state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

When i was a kid, somehow i just didnt think that i would live up to adulthood.
But here i am alive and well.
Because of the grace you gave.
Because of the love you lavished upon me.
Because of the breath of life you gave me.
Because you sustained me.
Because you blessed me.
Because of you.
Because you are.

2010-01-01T03:36:00.004+08:00

Its another new year!! :D
A brand new start (:
Looking back on 2009...its been an eventful year...

The year i graduated from poly...
The year i entered the working life..
The year i became an official nurse...

many things to be thankful and grateful for...
though the past 4 years have been wasted in a way,
i am thankful that it was not completely wasted, that God's grace was upon me and brought forth many good things out of the past four years.

the cell.
i believe, though some of them are far away from god now, that a seed has been planted, that they will find god again, and that for all seven of them, they are saved. and that just makes everything worth it. for the faithful, im encouraged and blessed by youre...and for the rest, im thankful that none of you have completely given up. and i know that god will continue to work in each of our lives...(:

nursing.
its amazing, but even till now, theres still affirmation that this is my calling.
and though its challenging as ever, im finding hope that it just might be something that i can grow into after all.

NR0629.
a truly wonderful class that built the framework of the teamwork spirit and working style needed in nursing. i miss going to lectures and tutorials with them, doing projs...i wonder if i'll even find another proj group that can complement each other so well...a class that truly care abt each other's well-being...(: am glad we do still keep in contact and even get to go out together now and then (:

my colleagues.
my prayer has been answered in abundance. they are everything that i could have hoped for. nice, helpful, good and trustworthy colleagues. the teamwork is so wonderful, it makes it bearable to stay in such a stresful work environment. Even the sisters are nice. And my many roster requests are even taken into consideration. Too bad i won't be working here life-long :p or so i hope! hahaha but i wonder wonder if i'll find colleagues and bosses as nice elsewhere. its nice to work in a practically politics-free place (:

ballet.
thankful that i get to learn again (: though its just a foundation and 8 lessons, im learning some things from it. truly missed ballet, i wonder how im going to stop after this. XD Really hope to get back into syllabus work soon.

i guess, what im looking for in this new year, is what ive gained in 2005 and 2004...
the most important thing for me..
time for new resolutions (:

Am looking forward to this new year (:
Many exciting things ahead (:
-FIRE100!! :D
-and i cant believe ive survived to be 21 soon (: PRAISE GOD
-DE Run
-DE24 retreat
-and maybe learning diving? :p hmmmm going to be spending alot this new year XD

2009-11-26T00:48:00.002+08:00

I come to the garden alone

While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice i hear falling on my ear

The son of God discloses

And He walks with me,

And He talks with me,

And He tells me i am His own,

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

He speaks and the sound of His voice

Is so sweet, the birds hush their singing

And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing

And He walks with me

And He talks with me

And He tells me i am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there

None other has ever known.

I'd stay in the garden with Him

Though the night around me is falling,

But He bids me go through the voice of woe,

His voice to me is calling

And He walks with me

And He talks with me

And He tells me i am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

And you, you are so, so kind.
Meet you at the secret garden (:

'25/11/09

2009-10-22T01:00:00.002+08:00

Lascia ch'io pianga mia cruda sorte
E che sospiri la liberta
Lascia ch'io pianga mia cruda sorte
E che sospiri la liberta

E che sospiri
E che sospiri la liberta
Lascia ch'io pianga mia cruda sorte
E che sospiri la liberta
Il duolo infranga queste ritorte
De miei martiri sol per pieta
De miei martiri sol per pieta
Lascia ch'io pianga mia cruda sorte
E che sospiri la liberta...

2009-10-16T23:44:00.002+08:00

The day of the sea
The day of the sea or of the high tides
To follow the voice of the waves
I would follow the voice of the waves
The day of the sea or the ebb tide
The day of the sea or of the high tides
The day of the sands, the ebb tide
The day of the sands....

2009-09-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

In nursing, theres a score we like to use. its called the pain score, and you rate your pain from '0' (no pain) to '10' (worst imaginable pain). It helps us measure your pain to see if it gets better and all.

Currently, my 'stress score', is 8/10.

And i seriously wonder what crazy thing i will end up doing when i hit 10/10.
Because im getting there.
And im getting desperate.

And i am 1mth away from ending my 6 mths probation.
Why do i feel as if im imprisoned?
Well. things will get better....(it better...)
The complicated cases will leave..........(hopefully to be replaced by normal cases)
its just a complicated, taxing, super busy month :/

2009-05-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

Pig~

Slept so much over the previous weekend. After my wonderful long hol, going back to being a nurse is so tiring. the first day in the ward, halfway through the day my legs were already so tired...

Its been 4-5 days in the ward...finally know where the common things are and memorised the prep room no. at last (: Thankfully the staff and patients are very nice! But the workload...just looking at how efficient they are is enough to make me want to cry.

And im still slow, blur, and unfamiliar. Even as junior, they do things differently here...and its like one junior to 15 patients...'cus its C class...and my final attachment ward is B class...one junior to 6 patients...

Luckily taking cases its one staff to 7/8 patients. Not that different from my prcp. Except all the procedures and jargons. Have yet to take any cases. Have yet to work with my preceptor too. But ive heard she's really nice (:

Hope i'll be able to cope soon...
Hope i won't get very stressed taking cases...
Hope june's schedule is favourable...(:

Thanks for being with me.

2009-05-03T22:34:00.019+08:00

I bought a pet (:

Recently bought a fighting fish of various beautiful blue colours (: He now lives in his fish tank home atop my desk together with one of my brother's fighting fish. ive 'kidnapped' my favourite, a yellow one, from his collection of five.

Its so nice and calming to look at them (: One's so cute, and one's so beautiful. Say hi to Joy and Calypso (:

Calypso~

and Joy (:

For my brother's sake, i shall hereby disclaim that I was the one that gave Joy her name. (:

Now when I come home tired from work, i can gaze at God's art greeting me (:

2009-04-29T19:42:00.004+08:00

im in renal ward.....totally didnt expect it....was so sure that i would go back to my prcp onco ward..like 90% sure...and renal discipline is not in my choice at all! :/

Still, i didnt exactly pray to get into any particular discipline...but just that, its still a big shock. And i miss the staff of my prcp ward :/ i miss my preceptor! i miss knowing what to do...well roughly anyway. Thank God for this ward though, he knows best, and also for there being one person that i know in the same ward that I am in (:

Was so totally lost in the ward today...i know nothing about renal patients to begin with, and to add to that i know nothing about the ward, and worse we are considered a high risk ward. Was in a suffocating mask all day in part of the many stepped up measures against swine flu. All infection controls have been stepped up. When the papers said the hospitals were ready, they meant it.

And everyone is too busy and stressed to give us a detailed orientation. I didnt know my patients' diagnosis, didnt know where everything is, not even the patient's bathroom at first, or where the thermometer is kept. So all the new staff are asking where everything is, all day long. Sigh. I felt like I was troubling the nurses there.

Hope i get used to things there soon..currently everyone is stressed over swine flu...keep having new information and new measures/instructions even within a day.

I wonder why renal ward is considered high risk. Need to go dig out and read up my lectures on renal patients. I cant remember what causes renal failure/disease, how it happens, the treatment, nursing management and common medications of renal patients. So lost :/ Maybe i can guess at its being high-risk for swine flu infection after i know more about the renal discipline.

Looking forward to transformation conference (:

~He makes all things beautiful, in His time~

2009-04-26T16:04:00.004+08:00

ive really enjoyed my holidays! (: it was one of the best holidays of my life...probably because it was so needed XD i can practically feel the mental well-being come as a direct result of it (: And the spiritual well-being from attending service every week! (: imagine if you had 2 and a half whole months of completely stress-free living come after 3 years of stress.

And i got to go to the botanic gardens twice (: i love to go there, it's so therapeutic (:
So yes, its high time to work le...getting very very broke already... :/

Started my foundation on 20/4/09...i'll be working in SGH till 20/4/11...awaiting my liberation day from my bond (: Foundation was, not really what i expected, though i knew the first week was going to be filled with lectures, i didnt expect it would be that...boring.

So much so that i actually managed to think and write a poem. Inspired by yellow weed flowers i saw that made me very happy when i went to buy food for teabreak. Shall post it below (:

I think claire will laugh at me again. Besides jolyn, ive not met anyone else that would find a weed beautiful. I realise I hadn't written any poems throughout my poly life. I miss english!

Maybe it was so boring also because im not used to lectures already. I remember trying to pay attention on the 1st day and seeing the slides fly past me without anything entering my head. And the lec hall benches are so hard, they hurt my back :/ i get up and out almost every break i get.

Next wed, we'd be going to the wards already...finally, i will know which is the ward ive to work in for the next two years.

I'd also gotten a scary surprise from NYP. Till now i cannot believe the sequence of events that first made me flow into accepting it. Then even more amazing, getting it. But it is a chance you gave me, so you will provide the ability too (: I'm sure now, after congre meeting, and i shall stop worrying and trust in you. And I say yes.

I know for sure now that's it God-given. Before that, i didnt dare refuse but also worried even when i semi-accepted. XD Do with it as you will, let it be your words. Thank you for this chance to thank you out loud.

I very much want to try to find some way to thank a dear friend too. As for that, it is a second chance to me and I really thank you for it. Help me find the words for everything! In a way that wont offend anybody! Cus I cant do this alone (:

A season of faith is starting. We'll get up and try again (:

Today,
A little weed flower
beckoned from the pathway
With sweet butter-yellow colour
As I was on my way.

I stopped, and looked, and knelt down to see
A dear little white head smile up at me,
surrounded by its petal halo
Of sweet and rich and dear butter-yellow
It gave me a smile, to last the next mile,
You've brightened my day,
Today.

The earth sings. It is so beautiful.
And I can only imagine, how much more beautiful,
You, the creator, will be.
I can only imagine.

A creation speaks of its creator.
It shows a glimspe of what kind of creator made it.
And you, are good.
The earth testifies of it,
And if we do not,
The rocks will shout it aloud (:

~Come taste and see, that the Lord is good, for He taste like honey in the rock~

2009-03-25T00:15:00.004+08:00

G12 conference was really wonderful! i've learnt and received so much, hope i'll be able to retain and apply...(: about the events before the conference, it was about the encounter as well as the churchwide prayer meeting.

God had really helped to prepare me for the conference...though i was only there for one session of the enc, to help the logs, i received so much...watching the participants cross the line one after another, filled with such child-like faith. No hesitation at all...it was such a blessing to see them. (:

And plus the prayer meeting the night before the conference, where we were led to leave our dissapointments with the vision behind. These two incidents made me so excited and also more ready for the g12 conference.

Jesus' blood, never fails me.

Rain down on me,
Rain down on me,
Here in Your presence,
I am free
Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord let Your presence fall on me~

Rain down upon this land again.

2009-03-11T02:51:00.004+08:00

Yay! i love my new blogskin! (: Thanks clem for your help (:

its march already, and so far ive been happily enjoying my hols (:
Going out alot, spending alot, slacking at home alot, trying to learn to cook, have by now learned to relax, and, thankfully, also working a little (:

Managed to find a 1 week surveying job from jobscentral, have finished it already....wonder if i'll get to do any more part-time jobs before i start work...still quite some time to 20th april..(: if not, i'll prob go broke! :/

and im now in the midst of a project called: redecor val's room (:
Had shifted some furniture around during CNY spring cleaning, now im 'wallpapering' my furniture set in an attempt to make it more my age. I'd chosen these furniture when I was 10.

Since i dont have the budget to change the whole set, i'm putting make-up on its face.
Changing almost all its colours (: So far, im pleased with what's done (:

All these changing are in line with how I feel right now. Renewed (: God is really good, he's answered my prayer and is getting me ready to embrace the new part of my life that's coming. [working life. goodness. can you believe it? it seems dreamlike somehow. cus i still feel like a child :/ okay maybe not exactly a child, but certainly not an adult adult. which i shall have to be soon. :/]

Anyway, God's renewed my faith in His greatness! (: And im finally re-grasping the application of sermons im blessed to receive. Besides the faith booster injection, God must have done some heart and brain surgery too (: I'll share more about the faith booster when...im more awake. And i think its just the starting! G12 conference, is coming. I am so excited, i can't wait! :D

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come!"
-2 Cor 5:17

2009-02-13T02:13:00.002+08:00

Its been 12 days of hols~

on 10th feb '09, 3 days ago, i was actually BORED. Can you believe it? So incredible. I havent had that feeling from since i entered poly, certainly not during any poly hols which were all busy to the max. Sometimes it even felt like it was over the max. XD

And not even during boring lectures cus if so i would be doing something better or i'd be feeling sleepy and would be drawing on my lecture notes to stay awake or sometimes sleep if im that tired and its that bad. Like the lecturer is reading the lecture notes 'word-for-word in a monotone voice' type of bad.

So yes. ive almost forgotten what its feels like to be bored. And it feels...irritating. really. Like im idling away my time with nothing productive to do. So in other words 9days of purely resting and going out is enough hols from a 3mth-long attachment for me. Interesting.

Also, in other words, high time to start working part-time somewhere.
So, ive been looking for a job. And thankfully now have things to do meantime that keep me from feeling bored (:

Dear God, please help me find a good part-time job that keeps me available for you.
And thanks for speaking to me at cell today. Help me desire for MORE of you! (:
Don't let me be contented with where i am. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen (:

And i, surrender
Oh i surrender
Oh i surrender to You, to You

That i may hear Your voice
That i may know Your heart
That i might see the world
Through eyes of hope
This my prayer O God
This my prayer

2009-02-09T22:39:00.007+08:00

Signed my contract with the hospital today...filled up so many forms...everyone was so irritated with the HR today...they took like 4hrs and 30mins to do something that could be done in at least by half the time.

And 'cus they didnt even print enough of a specific form, 1/3-1/2 of the students had to sit there for 1 and 1/2 hours doing nothing(!) while waiting for them to print more. PLUS, they started everything 30-40mins late without informing us how long we had to wait and without even apologising. goodness.....

Still, anyway, the sponsored students got to sign the contracts today in which we were told our staff salary and benefits and no. of leave etc. We have a 6 months probation period. Now I've got 3 different dates to go for a medical check-up, collect my uniform, and one for another meeting day with the HR (to collect our tags, final results and more briefings) [I know by now not to be on time for the HR one. :x]

Then i'll be officially starting work on the 20th april!

We got to re-choose our ward preferences. I chose:
1. Surgical
2. Medical Oncology (my PRCP ward)
3. Obstetrics and Gynaecology

i pray i'll land up where God wills me. He really knows best (:

And,

God I Really Want To Thank You For This Job! :D
I wont have to be hunting for a job like most poly grads. God is good! And the annoying HR experience cant take away the joy of experiencing God's grace in a time like this (:

For bringing me through the course.
For blessing me with the sponsorship, and thus,
For the contract signing today, this job youve blessed me with for the next 2 years (:
Thank you~

2009-02-02T12:39:00.003+08:00

ive unofficially graduated! :D :D :D
im rejoicing!!!
survived my 3 year course and my final 3mths attachment (:
Thanks to God and my families tt helped me through... (:
More like they had to drag/carry/prod me through XD
But its over, for now, and for now, that's enough. (;
Hallelujah! :D

*jumpsardherbroinglee*

Oh yes. and we celebrated my ending poly plus my brother going into it (:
whee~

2009-01-14T00:20:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday, Rx.
Hope you can hear us...we really miss you..
Thanks for everything, really.
For eveything you've given us, everything youve given me,
and for being that wonderful leader, project group mate of 3 years and such a nice friend.
Time does help a little, but it won't make us forget.
You're too wonderful for that (:

If i could fall, into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by?
'Cus you know i'd walk a thousand miles
if i could just see you
Tonight~

Someday i'll understand,
And i pray that someday i will see you again.

2009-01-06T23:21:00.001+08:00

~If not for the dark of night,
We would not see the stars~

2008-12-16T00:47:00.000+08:00

Halfway point (: (: (:

Its the start of the 6th week and im halfway through my PRCP (:
I'm so amazed at how God dragged/carried me through these past 5 weeks plus.
And also very amazed that ive not shared to any of my sisters how PRCP is.
And it has been 5 weeks. It shows that we are all so busy XD

Started taking cases from the 4th week and it was super stressful.
Now, it has improved to be, stressful. Instead of super stressful. XD
Still trying to get the hang of it.

I think I've underestimated the stress level of PRCP. hahaha...and ive never been so tired in all my life. Because for the past 3 weeks ive had something on every day besides my attachment. Like cell or MAF or dance or church or even de tribe run training XD. In other words, ive to wake up early even if im noon shift and go home at night even if im morn shift. And God still dragged/carried me to the 6th week alive. With many many many pleasant surprises in between (:

God is good and God is really powerful.

I think He'll bring me through the next 6 weeks and I'll come out of this unharmed after all (: (:

For those who dont understand what taking case is...its basically you are in charge of the patient..and you have to do all the Dr's changes...fill up different forms for different investigations...fax all sorts of forms for all sorts of referrals...check your juniours work when they are more sure of it than you (the student) XD write and pass the report of the patient...call the Dr and all...never had to call Dr until now...sian... :X

And when i first took case i literally had to ask the staff nurse what to write for everything. XD
And which form for what investigation. Memorise memorise memorise. And the medication list dont end. XD

Ok i sound like im whining already.

MAF is coming!! (: God, please light the fire again. (:

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31

God is with us. God saves. God heals (: (:
The message of HOPE this Christmas~

2008-11-30T01:00:00.003+08:00

I should start taking cases next week. There's about 5 of us out of 13 who havent starting taking cases yet. By the original schedule we are supposed to start learning that next week. Stress~

I discovered today my preceptor is new. That its her first time being a preceptor. Buts she's nice and teaches well, just that i dont seem to be on shift with her often.

I want to whine about this nurse who is very irritating to work with...:/ haiz its a nightmare to work with her...so short-tempered...somemore keep asking me to do her room things when i havent even finish my own room things...like most staff will ask you if youre busy or not before they ask you to help...and she like expects me to be free...

But thank God she's like the only black sheep...all the other staff are either ok or nice or super nice (: Well those that ive worked with so far. I'm not the only one who dislikes her...and i tried hard not to dislike her somemore. Wonder how im going to work with her next time. Hopefully shes not same shift as me tml. That would be so sad man.

I was so tired today...not enough sleep plus cell in the morn before my noon shift, then that crazy nurse...i think shes just stressed ba..but dont have to be so angry right? She is practically scolding all her juniors even the ENs...

On a very happy note, God blessed me with a surprise gift when i needed it most..
"What's that sound?" "fireworks!" and there's a flurry of nurses rushing to the windows.
"Aunty, you want to sit up, got fireworks!" hahaha. Watched the beautiful colourful exploding lights in the night sky with the patients at the window beds for like 5 mins and then went back to work.

I think it lasted for a total of 10 mins, it continued pretty long after we left the windows. There isnt even an occasion, i have no idea why there were fireworks tonight. But to me, it a wonderful surprise gift from heaven (: And it made me so so happy (: You have no idea the effect of fireworks on tired nurses. hahahha. My colleague from another ward that i met in the train home was estatic about it. It seemed to make the day's effort worthwhile. ~*

God will make a way
When there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for us~

Dear God,
Take my 5 loaves and 2 fishes.

2008-11-23T00:15:00.003+08:00

i wonder how i can be so tired simply from doing junior work in attachment, learning staff nurse admin things, trying to finish revising and going church meetings/dance.

If my current tiredness score is 6/10, what on earth will it be when i start in-charge work....
i have been sleeping many hours my rest day and off day yesterday and today...and still am tired XD

Tiredness is ok if it just remains as that and doesnt affect anything. But i realised that first morn shift im tired, its ok. By second consecutive morn shift i still dont get enough sleep, the productivity drops. Which in nursing is dangerous! wah seh....

But then again, im trying to
1. Memorise medications. There's currently 50+ drugs that ive to know the actual and brand name, dosage, special instructions and side effects. By week 4. Mon will be week 3.

2. Revise and be good in my skills. Ive forgotten details of skills ive not done for a long time, and forgotten how to do skills ive passed but never got to do yet.

3. Trying to cope with the swirling emotions. Somehow nursing patients that wont get well isnt what i expected upon joining nursing. And i dont even believe in chemotherapy!

But it hasnt been as bad as the previous time i was in this ward. So i had wondered whether i was coping better this time or becoming more indifferent. And then i realised its too early to compare because ive not done last office yet. That simple procedure that leaves alot of impact.

So all these are on top of attachment plus church. Remind me why i applied for sponsorship?
So i dun have to work, study, and struggle with church commitments.
Work + church or study + church is ok. Not work + study +church! yes im whining. about having to study in attachments.

But now. no choice. 10 more weeks, just 10 more weeks.

Anyway, i am truly grateful for the prayer meeting on fri. God's presence was really there and ive not felt so rested ever since ive started attachment. Indeed rest wihout God is not true rest.
Thank God for His voice....(: i was so blessed that night...better is one day in your courts, than a thousand elsewhere (:

Trying to grasp the true sabbath.~*

im saying yes, Lord.

2008-11-19T01:38:00.003+08:00

Blow wind blow.
Blow all the patients with MRSA. O_O

Mon was my third day in the ward and first day with my preceptor. And yes, she is very nice and very good (: THANK GOD! (: (: abt 2 hours after starting the shift they decided to convert our cubicle for MRSA. T_T

While we were attending to one patient, they'd happily changed two of our patients with MRSA patients from other rooms in the ward. So total we had 3 MRSA patients, half of the cubicle now having infection control cases.

So i was nursing onco+MRSA patients. what a combination! Have to change PPE with each diaper changing, etc. So ma fan. And imagine i didnt know their diagnosis and all cus no time to pass report of the 'new' patients. Its been so long i almost forgot how to wear PPE and how humid it is inside that thick gown.

Week 2 and 3 are juniour work so ive been readjusting myself to ward routine, layout and all the SGH charts and ways. Have not been in SGH for 6 months so pretty rusty. Thankfully we are still on junior work, things are still ok. The stress will officially start on week 4.

Learning lots of the admin part of the staff nurse from my preceptor. Never knew theres so much admin behind simple procedures. Ordering new meds from pharmacy, faxing change of diet, death certs etc etc etc.....all the paperwork too...think so far ive only learned the tip of the iceberg of paperwork we're required to do. XD

I don't have night shift for week 2 and 3 (: (:
And i can go for g12, though not service.
I will miss one ballet but can go for 2 church dance practices.
week 4 schedule is not out.

AND MY GIRLS AGREED TO SUIT MY TIMING! PRAISE GOD! i cant believe i can have cell with them every sat! Thanks girls (: (: (:

gtg, SLP (:

2008-11-11T17:57:00.002+08:00

PRCP~

These past two days been sitting in the lecture hall of XX hosp from 8am-4pm except for break times. Super slack. Our 3 day 'honeymoon period' of orientation. :X Would be in the ward from thur. Thur and fri are 8-4 shift as well for this week cus its our first week (:

And fri i can go do logs (: (: (: happy! My CI is strict, fierce, and nice. And i hope she doesnt have v v high standards for us to meet :X I met my preceptor while checking my schedule for this week. She was friendly and seems v nice (: (: (: Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!! super relieved. I'd prayed for a good and nice preceptor. (:

Now i shall complain about something we found out on day 1. There will be no allowance given to the non-sponsored students. Typically the system is: nursing students don't get paid during attachments but they get an allowance of $10/day. Which in my opinion is already very pathetic. :X

Now XX hosp says they cannot afford to pay so many students and thus these poor non-sponsored students are going to...
1. work for free for 3 whole months without pay and without allowance.
2. of course, they've to do morn, noon and nite shifts
3. and work on public hols if they're scheduled

How would you feel if ure the parent of the student...or the student herself/himself....

And yes definately we are learning from the hosp. But definitely we are also really working for them ok. Its way more tiring than any part-time job ive done. Ok this doesnt affect me in the sense that im a sponsored student. But, the non-sponsored ones are so 'ke lian' you cant not feel anything about the matter right..

If you say that you cannot afford to pay them just a basic allowance, how come you can be allowed to take them in to work for you? Shouldnt they go to YY hosp or GG hosp that can afford to better care for them...Sorry but i really find the whole matter outrageous.

For those not in poly, people of other courses get paid for their attachments ok. Paid a salary, not merely an allowance. Thank God im sponsored. Imagine paying sch fees of $1100 to go work for free for 3 months.

Maybe its really taxing on hosp finances. Maybe the sch can reduce our fees for year 3 sem 2 instead. Its not like we're going to sch anyway. And i shall email NYP after my PRCP (: Maybe something could come out of the feedback. Hopefully the next batch of non-sponsored nursing students wont be as 'ke lian'.

2008-11-11T17:34:00.002+08:00

The 3-week hol~

Thanking God:
1. I got to spend a lot of time with my cousin! (:
2. I got to go out once with my 2 nieces (:
3. I miraculously did manage to spring-clean my room (: and my parents can finally be more at ease with the appearance of it :X
(it was only cleaned for CNY, not spring cleaned as i was in my exam period. XD and um by the time before i started my hol it was...really messy.)
4. Meeting ting and wen and getting lost in orchard with them :x But we still managed to celebrate :D
5. Going out with precious to botanic gardens (: Thanks precious! heex.
6. Going genting with my parents (:
7. Being able to go for class barbeque
8. Finding out that Maureen is in the same ward as i am for PRCP
9. Samantha's rededication :D
10. Being able to go for service (:
11. When dear people turn up for cell or service (:
12. For His nature and His voice (:

Thank you God!! (:

2008-11-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

im back (:

Genting was...well actually a little bit boring, but good place to relax before PRCP :X There was nice weather there (:

The interesting thing is touching clouds! hahhaha yes im v 'sua-ku'. I was so amazed when there was mist coming from my mouth. And so amazed to see the clouds come towards us and to touch it. hmm the clouds i got to touch are, like cold mist? something like dry ice effect XD Not the thick and dense 'can sit on it and fly away' cartoon portrayal of clouds XD

We went to KLCC on the second day and i bought 2 books (: Couldnt find them in the bookstores here. yay! And contacts again for the sake of PRCP. Its so hard to do nursing things with specs sliding down. I wonder how come i can dance with these specs but not nursing practice. Don't know how to get soveniour from Malaysia and ended up buying bubblegum :X

Came back on thur and rushed down to class BBQ straight. We usually have it in dec to celebrate Christmas as well, however thanks to PRCP we've to celebrate it in that one week where the whole class is on the same hol. (:

Thanks Mum and Dad for bringing my luggage home for me! (: A camp bag actually.

Was so nice just to see everyone again (: Got to know where most of them are going for their PRCP...all the best everyone...(: Tami shall now be remembered as the person who brought PRCP schedule to the BBQ! 0_0 Thereby stressing everyone and making us all yell. XD

I shall miss all of them!
See ure on 30 Jan....God bless all of us (:

~Emmanuel~

2008-11-03T15:51:00.002+08:00

Had solitude time at airpost last wed :D I love solitudes at airport! (: God had also reminded me of my baptism, and i realised only later that the next day was my baptism date (:

Would be going genting tml-thur with my parents :D My 3 week hols are ending :/ Ive not revised for PRCP! hahahha shall snap back into attachment mode next mon. Thankfully 1st week is orientation, gives me time to revise still in the 1st week...Thank God...(:

And guess what blessing ive found out this sun!! Someone in FCBC is going to the same ward that i am! Cant remember her name, it starts with 'M'. Melanie told me (: I've a sister-in-Christ with me!!!! Praise God! (:

2008-10-29T01:51:00.002+08:00

Been really stressed up over the coming PRCP attachment. Trying not to be can only help some. Surrendering helped more. Now I just have to trust and pray and trust and pray.

Mon was a whole day of planning for the following year. It brought my mind off the coming attachment to all the future changes to take place next year that i had forced myself not to think about.

I should say, one major plus one not as major transition. Well i hope its not as major. Theres changes every year of course but two transitions scare me. (one is enough to scare me lots already actually. High 'S' ppl dun like change. Much less transitions.)

Actually i do not even know if im still a high S person. hahaha. But since nursing requires high S high C high D and high I (and who's high in everything?!?) I suppose it doesnt really matter what i change into, if i have changed. Nursing has this endless list of traits and abilities you should have. Ok, not endless. But just way too much. XD

Reading my brother's blog today has really encouraged me. I don't have to question if i have what it takes. I already know, i don't.
But i know God does. I may lack a lot, but He's perfect. He lacks nothing. And He lives in me.

And He will give His 100% if i put in mine. So its simply a question of giving the best worship i can, praying and persevering. Pastor Eve said something on Mon that really opened my eyes. Everyone struggles with their different issues. The key is not to give up or run away but to work through these issues. And this is real strength.

Real strength isnt about being perfect or having no struggles or no flaws. But trusting God to help you work all these out and never giving up.

His blog post encouraged me because there was a fighting spirit. It encouraged me, because it reminded me of something Candy had once shared.
'God gives us dreams, but sometimes we also have to fight for those dreams . So that we will cherish them.'

If God simply magically gave us the fulfillment of the plans he has for us, we couldnt be moulded in the process. We also probably wouldnt cherish it as much.
Dear God, thank you for your love and patience and grace to journey this road with me. I will cherish this journey (:

100%man, 100% God. And whats best is He never leaves our side. Step by step, He'll walk through with us. You carried the cross, and the sins and sicknesses and weight of the world, and perservered through that. What can be too difficult for you?

I know You're with me..and i will believe the truth: You are more than enough.

Truths can set us free (:

Isaiah 26:3
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!"(NLT)
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." (NIV)

2008-10-23T01:49:00.002+08:00

Discovered last night the ward ive been posted to for my PRCP (final 3 mths attachment)
Its an oncology(Cancer) ward.
They say that when you get cancer the first stage you go through psychologically would be the denial state.
I wish i can pretend i don't know where im posted to yet XD
I shouldnt choose what i what to say yes to God to.
I really should learn to trust, much more.
And i can try starting to be more positive before stepping back into that depressing place. And for 3 months this time!!!!! *tries not to panick*

The good things:

1.Week one is orientation. Sat and Sun are off meaning i can go for cell and church. And wed's g12 too cus its 8am-4pm shift for the first 3 days (:

2. We follow our preceptor's schedule after that. I can still pray for a favourable schedule.

3. The staff there are really nice :D That means nice people to work with and learn from! :D

4. It also means though i don't know the other PRCP students posted there with me, at least i know the staff. :)

5. I know its where He wants me to be (:

6. I know that the family of God, and my friends, are with me (:

7. God has been really encouraging me (:

Wow. i didnt know that being posted there, there can be 7 things to thank God for and to be happy about :D

May there always be sunshine
May there always be rainbows
May there always be Jesus
May there always be hope (:

2008-10-20T17:09:00.002+08:00

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me You love
Through the death You bore for me
And you've won my heart
And you've won my heart

Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands, 'cus i cant do this on my own, im letting go, give me one more chance, save me from this road im on...Jesus take the wheel~

2008-10-20T00:45:00.002+08:00

I have finished my OT attachment! And am finally on 3 weeks holiday! (: YAY! (:
Actually, the last week is needed to revise and memorise and prepare for my final attachment, known as PRCP and its 3 months long with weekends and night shifts.

Thus, the holiday is actually a 2 week holiday with the illusion of it being a 3 week holiday. hahaha. Thank God i have something called a holiday! I shall certainly not compare or complain because holidays are priviledges i shall pretty soon no longer have. :/ So, thank God for this much needed holiday! :D

OT was a really nice attachment as we are students (: OT will be a very very very stressful place for a new staff nurse and i seriously doubt my ability to survive there. haha. Xiong ge, ni de hao jie sao, wo kan wo bu xing!

In the ward as a new staff nurse, it would be 'sei jai lat' but in the OT, it would be 'siao liao'.
I might suffer in the ward but i predict something close to torture in the OT. Or A&E. These two areas, are out of my choice, chop stamp and guarantee unless a voice booms from heaven.

OT is so specialised that we are almost clueless and thus the staff have to guide us (: managed to scrub in for one minor case and the staff nurse was telling me every single instrument to pass next to the surgeon. Luckily, we are so blessed that NUH staff are very nice to teach us (:

Overall it was a very interesting, different and also rather queasy experience. haha. Got to see one caesarean case! The first and only other time that i watched a baby being born, was through natural delivery, assisted with forceps. As always with deliveries, it is way more drama than you expect. And after the baby is born, the feeling is incredible (:

~For a spell or two,
No one seems forlorn
This comes to pass
When a child is born~ (:

God, bless me to spend my hols fruitfully (:

2008-10-20T00:26:00.002+08:00

12/10/08, Sunday
Went to watch Sabores! with Rui xiang after service on that day. (: Finally managed to meet up with her! After more than 1 whole year! Thanks Ruixiang (:

It was a very excellent performance (: The genre was ballet flamenco, from spain. A totally different dance from any ive ever seen and pretty different from what i expected. I had thought flamenco to be a type of ballroom dance and assumed the performance to be a mixture of ballet and ballroom.

It had a lot of tap dancing, which seems to be a basic aspect of flamenco. But flamenco uses the hands and body as well as feet (: And this cheorography also played with rhythms, music, song, lights and shadows, swishing skirts and changeable costumes, props and a dance storyline (:

On the whole, it was a very exuberant, energetic and elegant dance (: Which we were very thankful for because we were both so tired we would have fallen asleep otherwise. So glad to have gotten to watch it, student prices are blessings from heaven :D

Though we were really tired, really enjoyed the time with her (: Hope we can have chances to talk more. hahaha :X

2008-10-19T23:52:00.003+08:00

10/10/08 Fri (:
Finished my A&E posting and took bus supposedly to harbourfront to take NEL line home. Fell asleep and missed the stop. Awoke at suntec and took 133 to go home. Fell alseep and missed the stop, again. Ended up at AMK hub. Took 135 home. Got my ballet things and went for ballet (:

Wanted to come home to take a nap first but my body had refused to allow me to wait. :/ Thus i had a less refreshing nap on various buses and wasted so much EZ-link card money :/ Had a wonderful time at ballet. Precious one hour (: I miss ballet!

My parents came to fetch me home (: we ended up having dinner at some east coast hawker place and then went to walk at the jetty (: Which is the reason for this post, for me to remember that lovely random surprise outing (:

I never knew the sea could look so lovely at night. There were 4 different kinds of light that i could see.

1. The shimmery silver light from the moon caught by the tip of each smooth rolling wave
2. A beam of artificial white light in a widening line cast upon a relatively small part of the sea
3. Another artificial light source turning the dark sky into meldingly lighter shades of blue
4. Many tiny blue twinkling lights bobbing upon the sea in the distance, supposedly from boats

If i could, i would have drawn a picture. It was so beautiful (: But, i didnt have any drawing materials with me, nor the time, and in such cases the lights could have changed before i could finish. A photo would have been nice (: Been a really long time since i last drew anything. Besides FYP which doesnt really count.

It was a rather comical and very nice time with my parents (: Rare to get to go out with them, because im like, usually busy? hahhaha. Extremely precious 3 hours (:

2008-10-11T19:12:00.006+08:00

YAY! ive just finished my A&E posting! (attachment) Because its one week and probably the shortest attachment ive ever had. But there's still OT posting next week. Have to hurry go revise before mon :/

It wasn't as scary as what i expected (: (I expected erm, lots of very terrible cases? As in very serious conditions patients.) Well, except for the fact that the hospital is so FAR it takes me 1 hour and 40 mins just to get there. So like for morn shift, 7am-3pm, ive to like get up at 5am! so gross!

Maybe going to stay at my aunts place next week so i dun have to get up so early (: But, thank God ive not been late for this posting (: (: (:

Well i suppose because the hospital isnt located in the central area of Spore it has the less serious cases and on the whole less patients too. Still very busy, but not over-ly. (:

SGH/TTSH would have been a totally different case. It would be busier and probably have more of the serious scary cases.

Didnt have a single collasped patient through the whole week. The opposite shift had 2.
So, i am blessed! And im especially blessed to have a nice CI!!!!!! Nice CIs (clinical instructor) are lovely blessings from above (:

She still asks a lot of questions but at least she speaks in a nice tone and you don't feel like running away the moment you see/hear her coming, like certain scary CIs. 0_0

She a bit like CI Nila from SGH. CI Nila is even stricter though, but better. She's the right balance of nice and strict and teaches well. (:

I've heard of CIs that are lenient, and don't really care what the student does. I'd say they are nice CIs but i wouldn't say they're good. Because you won't learn as much then. I've never encountered one though. But if you ask me to choose between such a CI and a strict but scary/strict and ridiculous one, (both varieties of which ive encountered) i dun think i could choose. :X

Speaking of CIs, ive just known my relief ballet teacher yesterday. She's come to take our class till feb i think. While our current one goes to give birth (: Imagine. Our ballet teacher was still doing jumps with us while 7-8 months pregnant! 0_0 ZAI.

She was a really good teacher. I think this new one isnt bad. But she has a very different style of teaching. And a problem is she's from china and struggles using english. And i struggle to understand chinese. hahahha.

And ive finally been able to catch a few exercises. I love ballet! (: (:

And the best part of my A&E posting was being in CE (Children's emergency) for 1 day. At first there was nothing much to do as we arent allowed to do a lot of things for children. As the cases came in, I found myself helping in a different way (: Hope to go paeds nursing in the future (:

~It made a difference to that starfish~

2008-10-03T02:45:00.003+08:00

Ok I've not properly updated for ages. So this will be a super long post and thus shall probably bore anyone reading it :X This sem (year 3 sem 1) has been super hectic with no breathing space till my hols started last wed, and,

Thank God for hols! (: Been having twice as many ICAs and so many exams, together with NDP and harvest event. Was very glad for the impromtu harvest event that we did, achieved a different kind of objective (:

LSCN course was tramatic. Seriously. It was straight after end-sem exams (which was straight after FYP) And its traumatic enough on its own without having to be sandwiched between exams and attachment. I didnt pass 1 station out of the 4 thus failing the whole thing.

So i won't get the extra cert, but its a good course to learn a lot more (albeit in too short a time) and im glad to have gone for it. Not sure if i'll want to take it in future, though i suppose i would be better prepared by then.

Attachment this time was gerontology posting to AMK. It has a slower pace than an acute hospital which is very good for us because we get to take case and have the luxury of time to adjust after 6 whole months of no attachment! So blessed to have been posted there. (:

The ward staff are also super nice! and my colleagues too, though i didn't know any of them at first. We're all from different classes i think. At least most of us. Would be having my next attachment with some of them, yay, there'll be people i already know (:

Miss some of the cute patients i had :/ elderly can be very cute (:

Had hols from last wed to this fri...10days (: Totally enjoyed myself to the fullest (: Most memorable are

1.) the trip to pulau ubin, which made me feel like ive gone overseas and has lovely butterflies, flowers and weeds (:

2.) Mama mia movie + talking non-stop with my cousin (: (:

3.) Seeing, playing with, feeding and carrying my dear baby nieces, Denise, Danica, and Yuan ling! (: (: (:

Starting mon will be my A&E posting(1 week) followed by OT posting(1 week) God bless me XD
Hope i can do well for this posting...may increase my chance of working in OT next year...
After these 2 weeks, i'll have a 3 weeks hol! (: So Blessed!

2008-10-03T02:29:00.002+08:00

I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything

If you see the wonder
Of a fairy tale
You can take the future
Even if you fail

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination
Makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream

To bless, to be positive, and to press on (:
I've a purpose and a dream (:
:) FAITH (:

2008-09-13T22:17:00.002+08:00

Pandora's Box

~Once upon a time, in a faraway neverland, lived a beautiful princess. Her hair was as long as the sound of honey. Her skin was cake-warm. She smelt of biscuit and caramel and her eyes were lemonade bright.

One day, a butterfly, its wings as blue as the sound of sadness, landed gently upon her shoulder. "O princess," it whispered, its voice light as a spider's breath, "I have some terrible news for you."

"Tell me your terrible news, O butterfly," sang the princess, as she stroked his wings with cloud soft fingers. "Hope is dead. I have searched the world, O princess," replied the butterfly.

"I have searched high and low, the murky depths of the deepest ocean and the dizzy peaks of the highest mountain, the furthest sands of the hottest deserts and the iciest reaches of the frozen poles, and I cannot find hope. Hope is dead, O princess, quite dead." And the butterfly shivered as it cried in the cold, empty air.

The princess smiled again. "Do not fear, gentle butterfly. I have a secret. I am going to have a baby. And in my baby lie all my hopes, all the hopes of the whole wide world. And you will see that we will all live happily ever after because that is the way we will make it be."~

-Pandora's Box: A beautiful story within the story of Sleepwalking.

2008-08-17T20:25:00.004+08:00

There's nothing i could say to you

Nothing i could ever do

To make you see, what you mean to me

All the pain the tears i cried

Still you never said goodbye

And now i know, how far you'd go

I know i let you down

But it's not like that now

This time i'll never let you go

I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'Cause u keep me from falling apart

All my life i'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything ok

I thought that I had everything

I didn't know what life could bring

But now i see, honestly

You're the one thing i got right

The only one i let inside

And i can't breathe

'Cause you're here with me

And if i let you down

I'll turn it all around

This time i'll never let you go

And i will be all that you want

And get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life i'll be with you forever

To get me through the day

And make everything ok

'Cause without you

I cant breathe

I won't gonna ever ever let you leave

You're all i got

You're all i want

Oh~

'Cause without you

I don't know what i'd do

I can't ever ever live a day without you

Here with me do you see

You're all i want

And i will be all that you want

And get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, i'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything ok

All that you want

And get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, i'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything ok

With man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible*

2008-07-21T07:07:00.002+08:00

Time is a river that flows endlessly
And a life is a whisper, a kiss in a dream

Shadows dance behind the firelight
And all the spirits of the night remind us:
We are not alone

Tomorrow: a sun soon rising
And yesterday is there beside us
And it's never far away

If you listen to the wind you can hear me again
Even when I'm gone you can still hear the song
High up in the trees as it moves through the leaves
Listen to the wind, there's no end to my...

Love is forever a circle unbroken
The seasons keep changing; it always remains
Spring will melt the snows of winter
And the summer gives us days of light
So long till autumn makes them fade

Remember the sound of laughter
We ran together through the meadows
Still we thought our hearts could break

If you listen to the wind, you can hear me again
Even when I'm gone you can still hear the song
High up in the trees as it moves through the leaves
Listen to the wind and I'll send you my love

Listen to the wind where the sky meets the land
I'm not really gone I've been here all along
High up in the trees in the sound of the leaves
Listen to the wind there's no end to my...

Time is a river that flows to the sea
And a life is a whisper, a kiss in a dream.

Wistful wishes...

2008-07-02T03:17:00.004+08:00

On mon, the start of week 11, 2nd week since sch re-opened, the class finally appeared in colour.
It has amazed me the no. of black/white clothing that my classmates have. In the entire of week one, practically the whole class has donned these wonderfully gloomy colours to sch.

I guess i can never thank God enough for my wonderful class and sub-group(proj group), and the friends ive made...
2 more precious months...i shall treasure(:

That all important sense of urgency.

2008-05-22T00:54:00.002+08:00

Leaving Eygpt. Crossing into the desert. To look towards the promised land. (:

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you
Who have set their hearts on the pilgrimage
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a place of springs.
The autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
Till each appears before you in zion."

Jehova Jireh, my provider,
You are more than enough for me
Jehova Rafpha, you're my healer,
By your stripes I've been set free
Jehovah Shammah, you are with me
To supply all my needs
You're more than enough
More than enough
More than enough, for me

It Is Finished. (:

2008-04-08T00:22:00.005+08:00

What i love most about rivers is, you cant step in the same river twice
The water's always changing always moving
But people i guess cant live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose the chance of ever knowing
What's around the river bend
Waiting just around the river bend
I look once more, just around the river bend
Beyond the shore
Somewhere past the sea
Don't know what for
What i dream the day might send
Just around the river bend
Just around the river bend

In one week plus. I'd be in year 3. Much higher expectations and responsibilities. Night shifts, OT, A & E, PRCP...taking cases, report passing. I'd end PRCP by feb 2009, graduate by april 2009 and start work as a staff nurse at SGH in June/July 2009. If i survive and stay sane enough.

To know im not the only one fearful and feeling totally unready for year 3 and the working world next year relieves me that im not the only one struggling. Its too fast! But all their negativity can pull me down. im naturally a very negative person myself already!

I must not quit...though every part of 'me' wants to. Seriously, im afraid of going mad or dying if i stay on. But I must survive this, somehow. There's changes that need to be made...and i must not accept things the way that they are now. I must live to give it my best. I must at least have tried, to change what needs to be changed.

And i cant understand why so many simply choose to accept it, forget it and move on. Well yes, move on. But not choose to accept and forget it. I will not and must not. Isnt a nurse to be an advocate for her patients? Or is abiding to the rules and the business more important than that?

Of course not...rules are not cast in stone. Some christian nursing book from mings taught me that. Someday, God, bless me with the courage to change what i can. Because im weakly a timid, rule-abiding, need to stay safe and guai person. Okay a lot less timid now. But still not enough. XD Cus for once, sticking to the rules wouldn't even be right. So giving injections isnt the scariest. (i don't consider bathing and wrapping a dead person scary, its just very sad.) But now its trying to change a rule?!? Its almost challenging the system and the authorities. Goodness.

Most importantly ive decided i will not disobey you. I shall learn to trust you. No good thing will you withhold from me, and if you say nursing's what's good for me, then i shall believe you so.
Someday the valley of Baca will turn to springs. Pastor's words...."maybe you have no choice. then declare that the valley of Baca will turn to springs, and that God will use it to mould your character." I think i almost wanted to laugh at the "no choice" (im bonded) and "mould your character" part. But i was crying. XD yes i actually cry a lot, in church. XD

Someday the valley of Baca will turn to springs.
And yes im going to stay and see that day.

God, bless me to look with eyes of faith and bless me with a spirit of positivity. May i speak blessings unto my school and hospitals, teachers and classmates, and to all situations. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen (:

A ship's safe at harbour, but that's not what it's made for.
pain is temporary, but quitting is forever.

"One thing God has spoken;
two things have I heard;
that you, O Lord, are strong,
and that you, O Lord, are loving..."
-Psm 62:11-12

Waiting just around the river bend. Year 3's starting. Praise the LORD! (:

2008-02-17T00:24:00.002+08:00

Just realised that my previous post was my 100th post. (: er...ok that was so random.

Anyway, im here for a short post on how overwhelmed I am from my birthday celebrations this year....birthdays have been nothing special past few years, except going out with school friends last year (:...for lunch after exam paper...haha yes in poly my birthdays are like in the midst of exams.

It strikes me how changeable everything in this world is, even friends whom you have trusted and loved...except family.

Was so blessed by kwai hong's post on DE tribe blog-Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. (:

Dear God,
Thank you for blessing me with my biological family, and my spiritual family, and for blessing me with you...(: For blessings of families that are true. And the greatest joy of my birthday, that i can celebrate my birthday with my family, and with my spiritual family-Dad, Niang, brothers and sisters, and my daughters! (: Unspoken wishes came true (: Thank you, for blessing me with so so much that i don't deserve.

True families...trusting, helping and relying on each other..and the sweetest, dearest daughters that anyone can ever ask for.

Thank you.

2007-10-20T00:35:00.000+08:00

Yay bye to attachments and work and back to school (: some stability for a while at last (: At least i know roughly what to expect (: Guess work is fine on its own but not with studies/attachment. so amazingly tiring XD After all there's also always church and that cannot and will not be compromised (:

Previous attachment in ward 48, cancer ward was difficult. "You can always trace God's heart" section is all i could say of it...obstetrics was fun (: Watched the actual delivery of a baby...it was super drama and a lot more blood than i expected. It was a forceps delivery and the baby girl is so cute (:

And i bathed and fed babies! wow, i felt so happy there (: hahaha ya for a week its great but imagine working there, day in and day out feeding and bathing and chaging diapers for babies, it would be so boring after a month...quite slack, no wonder the posting is only one week. XD

IMH attachment was surprisingly quite alraight, thanks to great protection from God (: im one of the lucky few who didnt get injured in any way (: the patients are alright when they're not in one of their moods etc. quite nice, and very intelligent people.

The opening speech had started with, 'welcome to the mad hosp-Make A Difference hosp."
Am glad God came through and I achieved that. (:

So for now its back to school...quite glad to be learning things again (: First week still quite slack only two grp mtgs, but all the projects are coming and ive already 4 grp mtgs scheduled next week XD enjoying working with my group though (:

Only 'don't like' skills module...wah sehhhh...first lesson of first day whole class kena scolded and and started learning injections........*speechless* Its just first lesson of first day! Okay back to the strictness of lab skills teachers XD Must tie up my rebonded hair *sobs* and ensure i cut fingernails...blah blah blah....T_T

Okay now have new thing to overcome. Learn to give injections! And i personally used to fear injections like it could kill me or something. Practise val....skills lessons never fail to always really challenge me. rahhh. im going to make sure i learn this really really well! And hopefully my patient will feel less pain (:

I got sponsored by SGH! PTL! (: Can simply study and do church things (: hee i don't have to work anymore (: Thank God!! Happy and relieved (: Except the sunday one..tt's quite fun actually (: Well until end dec at least (:

Thank you God, for your grace to me (: 2 'ask bigs' left (;
And hopefully, a breakthru, with a friend. Or maybe it was only i who thought that we were friends.

dun wanna leave it all behind
but i get my hopes up
and i watch them fall everytime
and all the colours turn to gray
and its just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away.

i cant help but to go my own way, too.

Your grace will be sufficient for me~*

2007-08-26T04:34:00.000+08:00

exams are over (: yay...haha at first when the last paper ended and i walked out of the room...(actually i left before time was up) i didnt really feel anything..and wondered wny i didnt feel anything..quite weird cus usually you would be very happy that exams are over...i just walked out like thinking about the paper and thanking God and thinking of what next i have to do...

Then i was like reminding myself papers have all ended le...and in the end that made me feel a bit relieved (:

This semesters exams are a bit weird. Firstly, i ended ALL papers before time and left early. Which is im not very sure good or bad XD Secondly i found all the papers MCQs harder than SAQs. hahha. First time im relying on the SAs to bring up marks XD Well, thank God the exams are over and blessing me so much in all my SAQs and generally the papers too(:

GCYC was great (: Somehow God still used me to bless in small ways though i felt completely inadequate to be used at all. Thank God! And for the things ive managed to receive from the two times I could be there (:

Hmm. So attachment starts mon. All morning shifts this time 0_0 But its one week only so not so bad right? And. Morning shifts mean...i can go for cell, G12, and dance, on mon, wed and thur (: Would be super tiring, BUT im going to go. im glad its obstetrics posting. God, use me (:

Got 3 weeks holiday after my 1week attachment, going to work but havent found a job yet...got lobang must tell me oks...hahaha. Worse come to worse, i will do F and B lor...haha. Back to MOS? maybe. But it would be a last resort. Cus if i take such a low-paying job...i probably have to do two jobs to earn enough to meet the deadline. But if it comes to that, i'll just do it.

God is too good to be unkind.
God is too wise to be confused.
When you cannot trace His hand,
You can always trace His heart.

One question: Who is Jesus? How great is the God you know?

Always thankful...
Always victorious in Christ...
Always a blessing to all! (:

"For God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

My God is a Great and faithful God! (: (: (:

2007-08-19T00:38:00.000+08:00

Hmm. been a long time since ive posted..hahaha yup sorry...have been really busy, once school starts, its project exams non-stop for the 14 weeks...then 3 weeks of attachment..then now in midst of two weeks of exam...after which will be:

one week of attachment. to obstetrics: looking after pregnant women. I hope I get to see the babies born (:

3 weeks holiday. Finally.

two weeks attachment. to IMH.

New sch semester starts 0_0

My class is currently filled with sick people...imagine taking your exams the week after attachment...only to face attachment straight after your exam..the nurses are becoming patients...my classmate was admitted...maybe the sch will care a bit then..yeah right. XD

I should thank God i simply have trouble with sleep. And that the number of migranes have reduced, allowing me to study (:

God please bless the next semester to be better...let them at least switch the groups around so we wont be the ones who always have to take exams straight after attachment...thank you, in jesus name, amen (:

2007-04-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

Wow the second week of school has flown by...learnt quite a lot already, espcially for bio, syllabus seems to be going very fast for that XD Thankfully I am blessed with a wonderful bio lecturer now who makes understanding a lot easier (:

Am super thankful to God for the new opportunies He has given me..may be 're-joining' a CCA with Sharon! happy (: And to finally see and meet Shi min again! (: New tuition starting after the CAs. One that will free up my time alot, and even pay me more (:

I don't mind that it's still below market rate. It fits my time! Only one day a week, and somemore Sat! So blessed! (: Praying I'll be a really good tuition teacher...hahaha esp taking over from someone who's trained...expectations on me might be high.

And yup don't worry I haven't forgotten niang's wonderful teaching on the importance of time management and piorities. Shall plan my time carefully (:

Anyway I realised today that I'm really increadibly blessed. Because I know I'm where God wants me to be. And so I know I'll survive. I know it will still be difficult, but I know He's with me, and that's enough. (:

My closest classmates are confused and unsure about their future. They're confused about whether to continue taking the diploma/about whether to continue nursing after graduation...etc.

"What about you? you're going to stay in nursing?"
"yup, i'll definately stay in nursing."

So much peace and confidence...thank you, God, for taking control of my studies and future. (:

"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." -Iasiah 41:13

You are holy, holy,
Lord there is none like you
You are holy, holy
Glory to You alone

I'll sing Your praises forever
Deeper in love with you
Here in Your courts
Where im close to Your throne
I've found where I belong

Thank you.

2007-04-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

Today's the second day of school..trying not be stressed XD Which ends up in my being less stressed than i would have been but not completely stress-free. Well it's good enough i guess. (: So thank god (: Thanksgiving!

1. Lecturers
This sem's teachers so far are really/good/better, so that's very good (:
I have a much better bio lecturer, a good clinical lecturer, good lecturers (different for lecture and tutorial) taking me for mental health nursing. I haven't met my other teachers

Learnt a lot even on day 1, esp since Mon is my night lessons day, 10am-8pm! hahaha so minus 4hours of break, still a lot of time to learn.

2. My project group
Is going to be the same! oh PRAISE GOD. having been used to each other's working styles and done quite well for our projects I was hoping we wouldn't have to change groups. Especially since there's only one slacker in our group. So really thank God (:

3. For being with me and helping me be less stressed (as i mentioned earlier)
Because we found out that...We're going to have our exams straight after attachment again.
In case you have no idea how EXTREMELY stressful this is, it was enough to push a lot of us to nearly depression when we kena this system last sem.

When i heard this news it was like...wah instantly depressed. Not extremely stressed yet because i have a habit of not worrying too far ahead when i have current things to bother about.
Which is good. week 14 then bother ba. XD

Anyway i want to thank God that firstly, the exam period, though coming straight after attachment, at least won't be during chinese new year, which seriously is a horrible thing to do to torture students.

And secondly, that i realised this quickly and became a lot less upset over it. Change your attitude when you can't change the system XD Thank God for helping me realise that. Also for making me stronger, because i didn't breakdown over the news, although others did.

if my God is for me, who can be against me? (:

Hmm. I shall sit my exams with God by side (: So blessed to have God and my spiritual family to walk this journey with me. I'd never have lasted otherwise XD

Ok off to do preparation hw and research. (:

2007-04-15T22:25:00.000+08:00

Sch starts tomorrow! Praise God! hahaha choosing to rejoice in the Lord(: must say im still afraid, But! I know God's with me (:

Praying that in all the circumstances of stress, worries, busyness and watever that may come in year 2, I'll trust in God's word, look to Him and not at the circumstances or turn to the world, but to always turn to the Lord.

And praying especially that the busyness will not take away time with God. If it's one thing i learnt from TGIF, it's not to let the urgent take the place of the important.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given unto you as well." -Matt6:33

Thanksgiving! Just got my last tuition pay today. Just enough and just in time to buy all the lecture books I need for Yr 2 sem 1 tomorrow. Indeed my God provides! (:

Thank you for the start of year 2, and for being with me, and for providing for me and blessing me. I know you're more than enough for me (:

"No, in these things we are more than conquerers through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Rom 8:37-39

I serve a God,
Who is faithful and true
I will hide in the shelter of Your wings
For I find my rest
In Your faithfulness
Yes I serve a faithful God ~

2007-03-09T17:42:00.000+08:00

I'm finally here to update my blog! XD hahaha basically semester 2 has been really stressful, but thank God for bringing me through and for blessing me with such a wonderful spiritual family that's been there for me (: Love you all! (:

Actually sem 2 is not really considered completed yet. I'm left with 3 weeks of attachment from 19th-6th april...and also my results are not out yet. If i should fail any subject i get to retake the exam once. Hopefully i'll pass everything lah (:

Please pray that my lecturer will be really really really nice and let me replace my attachment for the 6th april date....because it's TGIF!!! I need to be there...and more than that...I WANT to be there!

Okay, thanksgiving! Thank God that my ex-Mos manager is coming back to singapore! yay!! and that I get to go out with my girls!! ptl!! it's really an answered prayer...they are so busy that even when i can find time to go out with them, high chance one or both of them can't come. So really thank God for this (:

Thank God also for the many things that He's taught me and spoken to me (:

You laid aside Your majesty,
Gave up everything for me,
Suffered at the hands of those You have created
You took all my guilt and shame
When You died and rose again
Now today You reign
In heaven and earth exalted

I really want to worship You my Lord
You have my heart and I am Yours
Forever and ever, I will love You
You are the only one who died for me
Gave Your life to set me free
So I lift my voice to You in adoration

Let each day of my life be a worship to You. Let this coming attachment be a worship to You. may i decrease that You may increase.

2006-12-26T02:43:00.000+08:00

Found this on dearest's blog and decided to try. XD

You Are An INFJ

The Protector
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's" Your Personality Type?

Your Birth Month is February

Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life.Your warmth and consideration touches many.
Your soul reflects: Purity, modesty, and faithfulness
Your gemstone: Amethyst
Your flower: Iris
Your colors: Purple, yellow, and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

Yay, purple and light blue (:

I think im bored XD

2006-09-16T17:33:00.000+08:00

I want to thank God for a whole lot of things!

For...just about everything that's happened so far and for His always being there with me (:
Especially for tribe retreat, this whole series pastor has preached and for RL mtg, dance, coming back to dance, the 'job' of tuitioning my two neighbour malay boys, my results and for family (:

Most of all, for being there with me and for geraldine's salvation! (: (: (:
Im so so happy! hahaha (:
Hopefully she can come service more often! (: (: *prays*

Had orientation to the hospital today. Thank God for dearest who prayed for me when I panicked for no good reason. :/ Actually it's the sudden realisation that I'm wearing a nursing uniform. I think. XD But orientation was fine and our clinical instructor seems nice (:

Starting my polyclinic attachment next week. Then a two-week attachment to the hospital. The polyclinc one is more of learning, so it's not that scary...but the one to the hospital is. I shall probably panick from next fri.

Pri sch exam is in about a month! how! Please pray the boys I'm tuitioning will at least pass. Thanks a lot (: I think it would be miraculous. Because how much can I help in one month! God, I'll try my best. Please help us. I never even tuition pri sch kids before...

I MISS YOU BUDDY!
AND I LOVE YOU LOTS!
if you do read this. (:

I really desperately miss her so. Oh well. Dec will come!!!
I'll be estatic then. (:
My one consolation for being unable to go Cambodia.
But then again.
Miracles can still happen.
Flicker of hope (:
*prays*

Shepard of my soul, i give you full control
Wherever you may lead, i will follow
I have made the choice, to listen for your voice
Wherever you may lead I will go

Be it in a quiet pasture, or by a gentle stream
The shepard of my soul, is by my side
Should I face a mighty mountain
Or a valley dark and deep
The shepard of my soul will be my guide

Thank you Lord for saving me~*

2006-07-06T17:43:00.000+08:00

Wednesday-

sometimes when God's presence comes, it feels like heaven...
Love God, Serve God. It's so simple and true.

i am so so so so blessed. Thank you.

Draw me close to You
Never me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cus nothing could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find a way,
To bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

You're all I want
You're all I ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

2006-07-06T17:42:00.000+08:00

Had 2 ICA exams this week. 1.) Nursing Science 1B on mon. another grp exam...had to submit all the care plans and whatever else we did during the hols and present our case study. About a 78-yr old man admitted into hosp with a lot a lot of probs.

So we had to identify the problems, give the evidences, pioritise the problems and come up with goals and care plans to solve each problem. oh ya, and evaluate. Im so so glad for ohana (: Thank God for my mum, niang, buddy, dearest and wendelyn (: They prayed for me! so nice! (: *families are such a blessing (:*

And really really thank God. For bringing me and my whole group through and helping us to do well. I know it's his grace (: I actually managed to speak loudly enough XD Don't know what grade our group got yet, but the teacher said we were the best of all the groups she's examined so far. So I really really thank God for blessing me so (:

2.) Biology practical on Tue. Much of the info. is still swimming in my head XD a good thing because semestral exams are coming anyway XD (ICAs are 30%. Semestral exams are 70%. yes you read correctly. All these hard work is for 30%.)

The test was ok I guess...it wasn't easy though it was MCQ, but it wasn't super difficult, thankfully (: Was pretty scared but thank God for being with me and helping me through (:
yay! praise God (:

2 ICAs left. *phew* XD clinical and Nursing science 1C. The dreaded clinical is individual. NR science 1C is group exam. And we have to interview a family with a toddler for that. I wonder where to find a family with a toddler to interview? Trying to find one that wouldn't be very 'ma fan' for the family.

And and. I can go dance tonight!!! though im still a little sick. *ssshhh* ok. im hoping that I recover fully soon (:

In Christ alone, I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"

2006-06-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

Am so encouraged by Ming's cell blog (:
the trust and faith of a little child. in a good God who can.

There is mountain too big, God cannot solve it...
If He carried the weight of the world upon his shoulder
I know my brother that he will carry you.

Say to those who are fearful hearted
Do not be afraid
The Lord your God is here with His mighty arms
When you call on His name
He will come and save
He will come and save you

He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Say to weary one,
Your God will surely come
He will come and save you

In my life and with my song, be magnified.

pray. perservere. trust. hope. love.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.

2006-06-22T23:22:00.000+08:00

i went to the zoo today!!!! teehee (: thank God! (: the zoo's a nice place with nice memories(: Thank God for the time i got to spend with wendelyn and for dearest buddy terry and lionel kors. hahaha. i don't think i've been this crazy for ages XD

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth"
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all (:

School's starting soon...have to start studying a lot again. All the work i did these past two-week holiday was for group projects. One of which is for exam. Haven't got to study for my two individual exams yet (bio and clinical) Going to study my entire fri...after my group project meeting..

AmaZing race this sat... realised im actually scared XD a whole group of strangers...interesting. and and. im not a participant!!!! gosh. Somehow i knew when i left the choice to Da-jie that i wouldn't be assistant to a station master to observe and improve 'c' skills. Why then did i leave her the choice? XD Super super uncomfortable when i can be so comfortable XD God, be with me..

maybe i did cross the line. help me learn to balance.

i will seek to bring Your name glory
i will seek to bring Your name honour
i will seek to magnify Your name
In everything i do
To give myself completely unto You

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
Wonderful name
Jesus, Jesus,
Most exalted name

//reign in me//
it's not you. it's God. (: TRUST

2006-06-20T14:19:00.000+08:00

Hi! I am er, back...hahaha XD Thank God for bringing me through these 3 months of school. Indeed he's blessed me a lot (: So so much! maybe would blog a separate post for the past 3 months of school? Thank God so so so much for cluster camp and the malaysia camp UMAD 4. He's spoken to me so so much and i've learnt a lot (:

Structural experience in cluster camp was really really good. Need to finish my reflections (: AmaZing race this sat! wonder what I'd be doing. Though going for it literally means I have no holiday... as in I don't get to go out at all for my 2-week holiday...but I know I'd get to learn. Thank God for this opportunity! (:

Though my two-week holiday wasn't really a holiday, it's really a very productive two weeks both academically and spiritually. Praise God! (:

Another 4 exams to go. 2 of which are group and the other 2 individual. Clinical!!!! that's the scariest...God, bless me...(: Jia you Val. study hard and trust in God (:

Give me one pure and holy passion
And give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition all my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in the truth
This world is empty pale and poor
Compared to knowing You my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You
Lead me on and I will run after You

i will worship..i will worship you
i will worship..i will worship you

Jesus i believe in You
Jesus i belong to You
You're the reason that i live,
The reason that i sing
With all i am

//reign in me//

2006-04-17T23:42:00.000+08:00

last week...Mon-Wed

was working at Toa Payoh Mos...because they were short of staff so i was sent over for these 3 days...thank God for seeing me through! (: (: Thankfully didn't make any major mistakes. phew. Anyway. Orchard Emerald branch's shake and coffee machine is different and better.

I still prefer working there to Toa Payoh because mainly im more familar with the people, machines, etc and all there. But must thank God for blessing me with nice colleagues when im at Toa Payoh. Learnt a lot of valuable lessons (:

Thur 13/4/06

Orientation!

17/22 people in my class turned up. Not bad lah. We were such a quiet class, the student mentors had no idea what to do with us. Everyone just followed everything they said then sit and stare at them. When they tried to get us to think of a class cheer, no one gave any suggestion till in the end the student mentors thought of one for us. XD

But then we happen to have a really good class leader. And when games finally came, the whole class became more enthusiatic. hahaha. Ran all the way to every station. I'm amazed I can run so much after ?? no. of months without PE. We won 3rd out of 30plus classes! yay! (:

Was super tiring though. But thank God for the great day, class leader, student mentor and lecturer mentor that we have because they're really good (: (:

Oh and my two -year plan ended so i had a free new phone. Praise God! really thank God for this blessing that has dropped from heaven. Free incoming, yay! (:

Fri-Sun 14-16 april
Good Friday and Easter Sunday! (: (: thank God for everything, especially his love and peace(:

Praise God! (: (: (:

Mon 17/4/06

First day of school (: the class had new people joining, so now NR0629 has 25 people. (: I met quite a lot of lecturers today. Praise God for blessing me with really good lecturers! yes yes God hears prayers (:

I managed to buy all my lecture notes today too! yay, praise God! All the lecture notes were so heavy. Had to like lug them home. My parents thought that they were texbooks. Learnt quite a lot today. Quite a lot of hw and self-study too. I'll study hard (:

KKH/SGH!! reply me... ... XD

Glrious Redeemer
You have paid for my life
You have gone before me
Now I walk by Your side
I lift my hands to You Lord
You are worthy of all praise
Jesus reign, Jesus reign

i come before you today
And there's just one thing that i want to say
Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord
For all you've given to me
For all the blessings that i cannot see
Thank you Lord, thank you Lord

With a grateful heart
With a song of praise
With an outstretched arm
I will bless Your name

Thank you Lord,
i just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
i just want to thank you, Lord
Thank you Lord~ (:

2006-04-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

somebody actually realised im MIA. opps. So for that somebody, i had better blog something. hahaha joking.

For the past ?? no of weeks, highlight was G12, Encounter weekend, RL 288 meeting and the 2nd April service. They were all really, really good. And most amazing one was encounter (: Thank God for encountering me! (:

Oh yes. I'm enrolled in NYP nursing already. As in i've submitted all the dozens of forms, photocopies, paid the bills and they've accepted me. God is so good! (: Make that incredibly good! (: (: (:

Waiting for school to start on the 17. Orientation's on the 13th. Thank God! I can't wait for orientation. Finally, I'll know my timetable and can plan my time. I'm dying. It's 5th april and I can't even plan my schedule till end of april.

Please God let wed thur and fri nights be free, and the whole of sat and sun....*prays hard*
Because wed and fri always now and then have meetings, thur usually has dance, weekends obviously got church cell and all...so God, please let there be a miracle...so I can go for everything...

Today...I worked in Toa Payoh Mos Burger....sent to work there for a few days because they are short of staff...it was ok though things were different. You know why? because God was with me (: Thank God, praise God, and thanks lots da-jie for praying! (:

God i need you so much more now than ever

Say to those who are fearful hearted,
Do not be afraid
The Lord Your God is here
with His mighty arms
When you call on His name
He will come and save you

He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Say to the weary one
Your God will surely come
He will come and save you
He will come and save you

He will come and save you
He will come and save you
Lift up your eyes to Him
You will arise again
He will come and save you

Say to those who are broken hearted
Do not lose your faith
The Lord your God is strong
With His loving arms
When you call on His name
He will come and save
He will come and save you

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like You

Jesus reign, Jesus reign, Jesus reign, Jesus reign, Jesus reign~

2006-03-24T02:43:00.000+08:00

Oh yes it's past 12!!!! let me annonce the new delicious burger created by Mos! *drum roll* the Gratin Creme Burger! really quite nice (: It has marcaroni, cream paste , a little shrimp and I think carrot...if I remember correctly...in a breaded patty with some cheese....topped with lettuce and more filling on the lettuce and the bun of course. Sarah!! I think you'll like it (: New side orders at four outlets too...that would be out on Sat (: Taka and Orchard Emerald are one of the four (:

Welcome to Mos burger! (:

2006-03-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging for ages...hmm...work is pretty weird...some days it's good...others not so...the funniest thing this week was that once at 4plus suddenly the crowd came in...and my manager was like complaining to me in chinese, "wah liao which gust of wind blew them in here?" so funny lah. I was happy that there would be more business and my manager wanted to slack. Not store manager of course. Dax lah. But her comment was so funny.

Today's dance is so nice. And also...very challenging to my weakening stamina. :/ Practice! hmm. yes I will. Have to go for check-up tomorrow...check-up to submit to nyp to certify that I'm fit for nursing...one of the tests check for hepatitis B...I think they are going to draw my blood...die already. God....I don't want injections or needles or any such things...let there be a new advanced way to check hepatitis B...where they don't have to draw my blood...

sigh. My money, my blood, and my time and theirs. stupid test....I KNOW I don't have hepatitis B. I have been vacinated what...yes I am whining. Don't the above reasons and fear of injections give me reason to whine? I should think so...vacinate me and then check if i have the illness...you might as well not vacinate me...poke me two times for no logical reason...tramatic you know. sigh. Actually probably also tramatic to the person trying to draw my blood. So sorry, Idon't think I can help that...

Oh well. At least, encounter's coming (: Dear audrey yes we shall talk lots.. I guess my voice will heal like next fri. hahaha. Oh ya and also practise dance with xiong kor...we shall squeeze in time somewhere...oh yes. haven't finished G12 reflection will have encounter reflection to do. how. *mon take leave!* no lah, I'll do...and can't take leave le, next week thur and fri already must take...dance rehearsal and RL288 meeting...and of course, to go to hospital to see niang and bao bao (: That one I'll die die take leave even if I'm working half-way. (: (:

We come into this holy place, to bring a sacrifice of praise
Bow down before and and seek your face
We sing of the mighty things you've done
Cry out to you let your will be done
Tell all the world you're the holy one

Hear the shouts of praise
As they're rising up to You
Come and fill this place
As we bring glory to Your name

Open up the gates
And let the king of glory in
Fill this house with praises
As we lift our hands and worship You
Open up the doors and let Your glory fill the earth
King of heaven we dance before Your throne

King of heaven come and
Take Your place
Dwell among us as we seek
Your face

KKH.

2006-03-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

Work is getting very stressful. Because the store's losing money. So they cut down on labour cost plus pressure the cashiers to sell more. Supposed to have 7 workers. Kitchen, Kitchen support, Two cashiers, Controller cum Fryer and two CS.

You know what the managers did? They assign one person to do Kitchen, one Cashier cum Fryer and one Controller cum CS. Seven workers reduced to three. And in peak hours, there may be another cashier. Usually I'm the Cashier cum Fryer. Off peak hours I'll be thrown to do Controller cum CS and maybe Fryer. madness. They haven't finished teaching me controller!

If you happen to be the Cashier cum Fryer, you have to bring in at least $200 dollars per hour. Means $10 per 20 customers in an hour. Promote upsize and side orders like crazy. And we are paid like. $3.50 per hour.

Somehow I'm glad I didn't quit. Otherwise they would be worse. Ohwell. And. I really don't understand anything that's going on now. But that doesn't mean I'll stop trusting.

My God is a Great God.
And He will make a way.

(:

2006-03-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Your word, is a light unto my path
Your love, guides me through my darkest nights
And even though sometimes Your ways
I cannot understand
I'll never walk away because my future's in Your hands

I don't care what people will say
I'm running after You
I won't turn back and go their way
I'm running after You
Don't matter what may come my way
I'm running after You
It's You I'm following today
I'm running after You

I trust. Amen. (:

2006-02-27T13:52:00.000+08:00

I have decided, to follow Jesus
I have decided, to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, no turning back

The cross before me, the world behind me
The cross before me, the world behind me
The cross before me, the world behind me
No turning back, no turning back

Though none go with me, I still will follow
Though none go with me, I still will follow
Though none go with me, I still will follow
No turning back, No turning back

I have decided, to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, no turning back

"So they pulled their boats up on shore,
left everything and followed him." -Luke 5:11

real sacrifice. real obedience. real determination.

2006-02-25T00:40:00.000+08:00

Havn't been blogging for ages...but i've decided to annonce that im going to stay in Mos Burger (: ya i noe the pay is very low. And the work is tiring. But i've started to enjoy the work more and started to like the people there more. (:

Hope to meet Dorothy and Hwee each time i work. Realised i really have very nice managers. Though Hwee is like rather blur, but God has blessed me with a lot of favour from him...he always allows me to keep changing schedule with all the church events. Praise God!

AND AND. He gave up trying to bet with me. (: after which i reaslised he's actually very nice lah. hahaha so now instead of dreading to see him i actually hope to see him. XD

Most importantly, realised that God didn't just plonk me there because Taka 'had enough crew' It's a super long story. But my attitude towards work and the people there changed after the water bottle incident plus because God spoke to Lisa and i by three cranes we found in Taka Mos. God is just amazing...very very very amazing! (:

Also. i found out i wasn't even intentionally sent to Orchard Emerald. It was accidental. In other words, planned by God (: So ya. This is the real reason why im staying (: God will provide for poly...I shall not take matters into my own hands to find a better-paying job and miss out his blessings for me and for others.

God 'dropped' a guitar from the sky for Sarah. Maybe He'll drop my poly fees for me. Hahaha. im kidding of course. But He'll provide...i just have to learn to trust...after all, He already said so in Tabernacle (: I have work tomorrow...6-11pm...after RL meeting. would be tiring. But still. Praise God! (:

God above all the world in motion
God above all my hopes and fears
And I don't care what the world throws at me now
I'm gonna be alright!

Hear the sound of the generation
Making loud our freedom song
All in all that the world will know Your name
I'm gonna be alright!

Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
I'm gonna be alright!

(be Your light unto the world)
Everyday it's You I live for
Everyday I'll follow after You
Everyday, I'll walk with You my Lord

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me
He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

2006-02-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Here I stand,
Forever in Your mighty hand
Living in Your promise
Written on my heart

I am Yours
Surrendered wholly to You
You set in your family
Calling me Your own

Now I , I belong to You
All I need, Your spirit Your word Your truth
Hear my cry, my deep desire
To know You more

In Your name, I will lift my hands to the King
This anthem of praise I bring
Heaven knows, I long to love You with all I am
I belong to You

ni shi wo de ju, ni shi wo de ju
zai ni ai de huai bao zhong
wo yuan yi xiang fu

2006-02-12T01:46:00.000+08:00

I've selected and submitted my 12 choices. (: And it was so fast! Like I got into the system immediately. Privilage of trying at 1:34 am (:

Choice of courses
1. NYP nursing
2. NP nursing
3. SP optometry
4. SP business administration
5. NP mass communication
6. NP business studies
7. NYP business management
8. NP accountancy
9. SP accountancy
10. NP early childhood
11. NYP marketing
12. NP hoticulture and landscape

Results will be out 3 weeks after 15 feb.
May God's will be done (:

2006-02-11T00:58:00.000+08:00

There were so many missed calls and msgs from 2.30pm. But I only got my results at like 3.30pm. An hour later! So. apologies for replying all of you so late...

God's grace (:
Eng A2
Comb. Humanities A2
Maths B3
Bio B3
Science(phy/chem) B4
POA B3

L1R4:13 L1R5:17

Really thank God for my results! I feel very blessed..though I was initially upset with my combined science results, I have gotten results that will get me where I need to go. Not everyone has that. And I have been amazingly blessed in some subjects, like maths!!!!

For those who don't realise that I've had a miracle...I'm a F9 case for maths and got D7 for prelims. Desperately needed to pass to get into the course I want. So I studied the most for Maths and prayed that I would at least get a C6. And God has blessed me so much! B3!!!!!!!!!!!

Praise God! Thank God! Am so blessed! (:

Am also superbly thankful to all who have prayed for me. Thank you all so much! Your prayers all meant a lot to me! A LOT. And oh dear I have 12 choices. I only need two. First choice, NYP nursing. Second choice, NP nursing. hahaha.

What should I fill in for the rest? Maybe third choice, SP business. haha. Still got nine!!!! Ohwell. Worry about that on Sunday.

Friendship special tomorrow!

My God is an Awesome God
Tell the world that Jesus lives!
Tell the world that! Tell the world that!
Tell the world that He died for man!
Tell the world that He lives again!!

'Cus I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
Salvation is here!

2006-02-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

In about 13 hours...I shall be waiting lined up in a row. Wishing that my Principal would hurry and be done with her speech yet knowing that for my Principal not to give a boring and lengthy one is impossible. (except this time it would be antagonizing instead of boring)

Yup. In 13 hours the O-level results will be released. I'm...kind of worried. But at least not panicking. Because thankfully, whatever results God has blessed me with, will definitely fit perfectly into his plan for me.

I thank God for bringing me through Os. Especially through Maths and the difficult papers. And I thank God for all who have prayed or are going to pray for my results. I thank God for the results to come. And I thank God because God is love and God is good (:

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever!

In Christ alone, i place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength,
My source of hope,
Is Christ alone

2006-02-04T00:59:00.000+08:00

RL meeting was amazing (: The worship was the great, the ministering and sermon too! The worship band and vocalists did a great job! Thank God i managed to get there on time and even have some bread for dinner (:

Work has been really tiring...and stressful...i'm so glad it's the end of the week, in fact i can barely believe it...reunion dinner tomorrow! Service on Sunday! I'm so so blessed (: And i only have to work on monday next week! Praise God!!

Would go Butt's house to learn guitar...hahaha (:
friendship is a beautiful thing. why must you try to change it?

Hide me now, under Your wings
Cover me, within Your mighty hands

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will still and know You are God

Find rest my soul, in Christ alone
Know His power, in quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

2006-02-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are near
In the secret, in the quiet hour i wait,
Only for You
'Cause i want to know You more

i want to know You
i want to hear Your voice
i want to know You more

i want to touch You
i want to see Your face
i want to know You more

i am reaching for the highest goal
That i might receive the prize
Pressing onward, pushing every hindrance aside,
Out of my way
'Cause i want to know You more

i want to know You
i want to hear Your voice
i want to know You more

i want to touch You
i want to see Your face
i want to know You more
i want to know You more
i want to know You more

2006-02-02T00:28:00.000+08:00

Had work yesterday and today. Pretty tiring, but okay on thw whole (: Thank God that my colleague agreed to switch with me today! I could go for the meeting at TCT! PTL! (:

The message was good! And I found out that santification week and tabernacle are both to be at TC! the bad thing is travelling from my workplace to TC might take like 1 hour plus. So if i should still be working then, i might be a little late for sessions :/

The good thing is...well, it's at TC!!! Do you remember the special smell of TC? The green coloured benches? the whole lovely building? i miss TC...and it's going to be held there! (: haha pray I won't be late.

My manager asked me today not to leave before he did. There's only three managers now. One of them got transferred to compasspoint...actually. They do really need people. I hope God speaks loudly. I need to know whether I'm staying soon. So I can answer my manager...

Jeremiah 29:10-13 Promises from above

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things shall be added unto you
Hallelu-Hallelujah

Man shall not live by bread alone
But by every word
That grows seeds from the mouth of God
Hallelu-Hallelujah

Ask and it shall be given unto you
Seek and you shall find
Knock and the door shall be open unto you
Hallelu-Hallelujah

2006-01-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

i want to go church tomorrow!!!! my mum actually told me ok le...but then my dad wants us to go to their church....but then...i need to tithe...i really really want to do chorale...and i want FCBC service! not some...foreign church service...i want to see my spiritual family too...hope i can go...

Today there was reunion dinner at my house...my cousin helped me paint my nails! they look quite nice (: My niece is so cute....(: Thank God for my family (: Haven't had an extended family gathering like this for quite some time...so it was nice (:

Oh yes let me tell you about my weirdest customers. People who come in asking me what Mos means. People who ask to add ingredients not originally in the burgers. Hmm. You get to meet quite a lot of different people while working...customers and collegues. Thank God for the many nice customers that i've met...they really make your day (: So far i've only had one horrible customer in all my 3 weeks of work. I feel blessed (:

It's Chinese New Year! God bless everyone (:

Lord prepare me, to be a santuary
Pure and holy, trite and true
With thanksgiving, i'll be a living santuary
For You....

2006-01-28T02:47:00.000+08:00

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

2006-01-27T03:06:00.000+08:00

i have spent so so sooo much. :/ For CNY i bought a cardigan. $19. And a pair of earrings. $16. Then i bought a birthday present for a friend. $20. i spent almost $60!!!!! i have never spent this much in a month :/ :/ :/

Thankfully my mum bought my clothes...well she bought me a CNY-ish top...(: the last thing i'm buying is shoes for CNY and that's it. And no spending money on self next month.

Sigh. The thought of having to shop for shoes is horrible. Like. i need to find a nice and affordable and also comfortable pair in two days. Which is quite hard. Hope i can.

Went for dance today (: managed to get the steps but still need practice. claire did so well todays! *beams* and no!!!!! i dun want to get cargo pants!!!! no money le!!!! floorers dun need right? right? hopefully...

Because i know my God saved the day
And i know His word never fails
And i know my God made a way for me
i'm gonna be alright!

"Trust in God, trust also in me"

2006-01-25T00:43:00.000+08:00

i went to school today...to collect the eagles award cheque...thank God for blessing me with this award (: and i found out that i actually had money in the bank already....my mum had thought there wasn't any money when she passed me the card and book. (because i started working)

looks like i can pay back my tithe faster than i thought (: (: yays! thank God! oh and 90% i'm quitting Mos burger on 13 or 14 feb...because after that it's......santification week!!!!!!!!!!! and tabernacle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i'm gonna use that 4 to 5 days completely to seek God. i hope he tells me which hospital to work in....

After that i have another two months...to earn whatever else i need to pay for my first semester in poly...plus textbooks and whatever weird things we might have to pay for...$1025++++ but the scholarship from the hospitals only gives $850...so i guess i have to get a better job...hope i can find one....God, bless me with a better job! can it be with children? *crosses fingers*

Thank God for bringing me through work today...Thank God for er jie! Don't get too stressed with your projects ya. You must sleep early too! Love you! (:

As we seek Your face
Wash us clean at last
We receive Your love
We receive Your healing grace

a desire~

2006-01-25T00:33:00.000+08:00

You scored as Dance. You should be a Dance major! Like a lithe ballerina, you dance because you believe there is beauty in expressing the physical form.

English

100%

Dance

100%

Journalism

100%

Psychology

83%

Theater

83%

Art

75%

Sociology

75%

Philosophy

67%

Mathematics

67%

Anthropology

67%

Biology

67%

Linguistics

67%

Engineering

42%

Chemistry

17%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Dance! yay! (: and english! did this test for fun, but found it quite accurate...i think...haha. except....
How can maths equal biology?!?!
biology should be 10 times higher!!
ok. i don't like maths because i didn't have a good foundation in it. and i'm quite logical...i guess...but still....i don't see any beauty in numbers.

Chinese new year! Service and Chorale!! soon! (: (: (:
gosh i missed choir so much more than i expected to

2006-01-21T03:30:00.000+08:00

really want to thank God for a lot of things (:

1. thank God for his grace and coming through for me (:

2. thank God for being with me, comforting and protecting me. because work was really tiring today and this lady scolded me badly because she didn't receive her chilli. which is the controller's fault and not mine....

but then i got scolded...after that i was so upset...but then God's presence came...and i was reminded that i was serving him and not the lady...thank God!(: really needed his presence and he gave it to me (:

and i almost scalded my hand..but luckily didn't..really thank God! (:

3. thank God so much for the wonderful spiritual family that he has blessed me with...especially my da-jie, lionel and terry (:

Thank God, Praise God! (:

Come Holy Spirit fall on me now
I need Your anointing come in Your power
I love You Holy Spirit
You're captivating my soul
And everyday i grow to love You more

I'm reaching for Your heart
You hold my life in Your hands
Drawing me closer to You
I feel Your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where i can see You face to face
I worship You in spirit and in truth

God didn't promise it would be easy. But he did promise to see us through.

2006-01-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

My forth day of work and 2nd day of counter....
PRAISE GOD. THANK GOD (: (: (:

He really came through for me today...i only made one mistake at start...and i didn't get scolded at all...it's such a big change from my first day of counter! and i know it's the prayers and God who brought me through (:

Thanks for all who prayed for me! was really super stressed afterthe first day of counter...where i made more than 5 mistakes in 3 hours...and today, i only made one in 6 hours...(:

Got scolded so so much on that first day, but uncle Peter and manager Dax were so nice, they didn'tt even scold me for that mistake! which prevented me from getting very stressed and making more mistakes. hahaha (: yays!

only six hours and my legs are breaking. tomorrow is 8 HOURS! gosh. 3-11pm. God, help me. Bring me through again (:

*relying on God everyday* (:
my God is a Big God (:

Who am i that You are mindful of me?
That You hear me, when i call?
Is it true that You are thinking of me?
How You love me, it's amazing!!

I am a friend of God,
I am a freind of God,
I am a friend of God,
He calls me friend! (:

2006-01-14T02:26:00.000+08:00

yay i went out after all (: my family went CNY shopping at heartland mall after dinner....my mum bought two blouses, my brother bought a shirt and i bought a top (: feeling super happy (: it's been a long time since i went out with my whole family (the last time was my brother's birthday)

and yays tomorrow i'm going to meet sarah and claire and butt at pasta mania for lunch! (: haha sarah and i planned this like 8 months ago i think...finally!

oh and before that my mum is bringing me to pluck my eyebrows...something she wanted me to do very long ago...but then now CNY is coming...and also the make-up people in touchdance told claire and i to do it...so by now i have no choice...even if i didn't want it..i can't say i don't...but neither can i say i do...haha ok i'm confusing. XD

After lunch there will be...CELL! yays! (: and after that i have to cut hair...hahaha...because there is the $10 for a 10min hair cut shop there...i wonder if i should try a fringe...teehee. yays i have almost an entire day with my family tomrrow! whee! (: (:

hmm...i still don't feel superbly tired...i shall blog about my workplace...it's a very nice place actually...and the people there are generally very nice, for which i must really thank God (: There are 4 managers...two guys, Darren and Hwee, and two girls, Dorothy and Dax.

Hwee is my manager...Darren, Hwee and Dorothy are very friendly and joke around...but i only saw Dorothy once...Dax is not as freindly but then i also only saw her once. I see the two guy managers very often...because they also work night shifts...haha. My managers are all 20plus.

There are only 3 others my age...they are very friendly and nice and fun (: Gwen is my partner on the first day...she's sec 3, but she stills works though school has re-opened. But night shifts of course. The other two are my age...Cheng Heng and Yvonne...and the funny thing is Yvonne was also from Peicai...but she's going to ITE soon.. :/ Cheng Heng is also waiting for O-level results...he wants to go engineering...in temasek poly i think...

The other workers are in their 60s...so far i only know 3 auties and one uncle...auntie linda and uncle cheong...i don't know the names of the other two aunties...but one of them is all smiles and very nice...(: hmmm...yup that's my workplace...

And the next time i have to work is this sun...5-11pm :/ must rush down after service....but at least after service i shall be super high...yays (: "Bring the celebrative mood and the presence of God into your workplace!" (: i shall happily shout, "welcome to Mos Burger!" (: ok i hope i will shout..because i must be heard...so i must dare to shout...hahaha

2006-01-13T15:26:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS MY OFF-DAY (:

haha. okay i shall update the previous days first...

tuesday:
public holiday. BUT. i had to get up super early still. because there was dance at tct at 9am! we went through Friend of God and Always and Forever again...and thank God, Jia yi changed the intro of Always and Forever...don't need to fling hair so much now (:

we went to ikea to have lunch after that...i've never been to ikea before...it's a very nice place...they have decorated rooms everywhere...Rachel, Chrislyn and i bought spagetti...and after that Rachel bought chicken wings and Chrislyn and i shared meatballs...the lunch was very nice (:

Went home after that...and plopped to bed...because Wed got work...thank God for the lovely day and fellowship (:

Wednesday:
Had work from 3-8pm..i thought i would be doing cs on my 2nd day also..but they moved me to drinker..which thankfully is quite easy too..just need to memorise how to make all the drinks..and also what to go with what..like coffee must have 2 sugar, 1 milk, 1 spoon and 1 tissue..milk teas and ice lemon teas must remember how much milk or lemons to give...

quite ok, except for the soups and shakes...because the soups are very hot and the shakes are very cold...so must tahan...my colleagues tell me do a few days can le...you won't feel that it very hot or cold anymore...

But then after doing 3 hours of drinker cs was shorthanded so i was sent to do cs...which is a lot busier than drinker but i like to do cs...haha so i did cs for about an hour then they called me to do drinker again...but in the end i was taught a bit of counter 0_0 but before they finished teaching me counter it was 8pm le so the manager told me to go... thank God! (:

After that i read my smses and guess what? Candy and Pat were waiting for me and Lisa! so nice lah! so i got to see my dear da jie, Pat and Lisa and we all went back together (:

Thank God for helping me to do drinker...thank God i didn't spill anything or scald myself...thank God i got to do some cs (: ...thank God they didn't finish teaching me counter (: and thank God for da-jie, Pat, and Lisa! (:

Thursday:
i had work from 12-5pm..and for the first hour of work i did deliveries..because my outlet delivers around orchard, and it was raining, so people in this make-up company department in wilston house ordered from us 3 times consecutively so i was sent there 3 times in the rain. And i think the aunties working there pitied me. they were complaining aloud about why didn't these people order at one go.

My manager was even funnier. At the third order to the same place he was like, "do you mind if i send you there again?" You are the manager and you ask me whether or not i want to do something instead of just ordering me to?

he was quite nice lah...but then i guess because $3.50 to walk everywhere in the rain carrying heavy food is super not worth it mah...but it was worth it for me because i sang worship songs there and back...hahaha...and i came back to work feeling very happy...because God was with me...(:

So after my 3 deliveries i had my break, yays! hahaha and my manager asked me to sit down to eat...so nice (: After that, i got the blessed drinker job for an hour, then they sent me to....counter!!!!

ahhh....aunty linda taught me counter....and her standard is much higher than my manager lah...actually my manager say his standard is for new people is to greet...key wrong or write wrong never mind..but then she scold me whenever i key wrongly...

and she want me to do the correct steps at cashier...as in, greet, write, key, put chit at controller, then take tray then take drink and then take money...and my manager actually told me to take tray as the first step...which is so much easier...because her method requires me to walk to and fro so when it's busy i forget...then i would get scolded again...

was pretty tired when i went for dance rehearsal...very stressed from work...trying to remember all the colour codes and burger names and which sets got discount which don't have...and i need to remember what burger contains what...

and aunty linda is a nice lady but her standard really very high lah...so thank God niang came...and during the worship segment she prayed for me...actually i didn't really understand her prayer...but it was really nice that she prayed for me...and her being there made me so glad lah...so God, thanks so so much for my niang!!!

Then after i went home..saw Lisa and Delia at macs...pei them eat supper...in the midst of that my manager called...say tml come at 12-8pm...actually i dun need to work one...then i went home very tired...and thank God i managed to drag myself to do QT...because God really spoke to me through it...and then i understood what Evelyn prayed for me...(: Thank God!!!

And after that i was drifting to sleep...then manager called to change to 5-11pm...5 secs later another manager called to change again, say today got enough people so i don't have to come...
i was too tired to clarify...so i just said ok and went to sleep...

friday:
this morning i smsed them to make sure...and ya today i don't have work...hahaha...i rested the entire morning (: Ate my lunch really slowly...then i came online to blog...haha going to practise always and forever later...i'm too slow :/ then hopefully i can go out tonight...thank God for the rest :p and thank God tomorrow is SAT!!!! finally. i'll get to see my beloved family again! Thank God!!! (:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." col 3 : 23&24

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

Help me find a way,
Bring me back to You

You're all i want
You're all i ever needed
You're all i want
help me know You are near

2006-01-10T00:58:00.000+08:00

My first day at work in Mos Burger! hahaha (: They gave me a very long shirt and the guys' cut pants...because they ran out of the female cut 's' size...so i guess i looked pretty weird. Luckily there was an apron to wear over...cover like practically my whole front...and the first thing i learnt was how to wear a bandana...(:

After that i was sent to do customer service (cs) ...which is what all new people are sent to do...they told me after one or two days, i would be sent to counter! ahhh i dun want to do counter...super stressful one...but customer service is easy and fun! (: enjoyed work today (:

At first i was pretty stressed but later on it got easier and was quite fun (: serve people, repeat order, clear and clean tables (: clean trays and baskets and change bins...haha. Clear ash trays is the worse part *holds breath* From 6-7plus I had a partner to do cs with me..she's so funny...kept saying sian sian sian haha i guess because she's worked for 2months plus le.

But she's pretty nice, and a year younger than me. I think she hates the bin. She was like, i do the rest, you go change bin...whenever the bin was full...so i changed bin twice today..haha. It's heavy lah! But i dun mind (:

Had my dinner at like 6.30pm like that...quite nice (: actually i was relieved because i was very thirsty! haha anyway, i was supposed to work from 4-9 but ended up working till 10 because the person replacing me came late. Lisa and Delia ended at 9, but they kindly waited for me! so nice lah! so we all went home together and sang worship songs on the way home (:

Lisa was like saying i do cs like so pro...hahaha at first i was quite clusmy lor...but then by 9 i had gotten better mah...Lisa and Delia got 3hr training a day before they started work! i dun have...so sad :/ had to learn everything as i work....oh yes we all dun have work tomorrow! hahaha But we have on wednesday...mine is 3-8...Delia's is 12-5 i think...but Lisa has to do from 12-9...so i shall wait for her...then we can go home together (:

Oh yes claire Butt and Candy-jie came to see me too! haha they came pretty early...as in i just started not long...haha. Thanks for coming!

Tomorrow got dance practice 9am-1pm at tct...*gasps* i hope i can get up...gosh. Super must practice Always and Forever. The most undiginified dance i've ever learnt. A style i never did before. The fling hair everywhere like a mad girl kind of dance. Okay maybe i'm exaggerating. But it's still way beyond my comfort zone.

Yesterday night I was reminded of a certain part in Pastor's sermon. In a celebrative mood, King David became undignified to praise God. God is crazy over us so we too should be for him. And so. Even if i get the position in front of A3, i shall be undignified. Let the hair fly (:

Thank God for being with me through the day (:

One way! Jesus! You're the only one that i could live for!
I don't care what people will say...i'm running after You! (:

2006-01-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

yawns...i fell asleep at 6pm...and then woke up at 10.30pm...and i'm still tired...haha. only slept 3hrs the night before...

Thank God that everything worked out for service (: Thank God for the guys who helped us book seats and for dear Sarah and Lisa who helped me with Candy's girls (: Sarah, Lisa and Darren, thanks lots! Would have died without all of you! The most tedious part was confirming attendance...it was so hard lah...as in, had to call and msg some people so many times...wed until sun itself...hahaha

Service was soooo great! God's presence was so strong and the message was really good too! Then we had celebration! Whee! (: (: (:

Oh yes i had dance practice at 10.30 before service...Friend of God is nice, but needs more practice. haha. Can't really remember all the steps. Always and Forever is so so so hard, i'm like, pengs...God, help me do Always and Forever!!!! Jia yi ar....the style is super hard to catch...stamina consuming dance...never did this kind of steps before one...and supposed to let down hair...think u all will get a great shock when you all see this dance...hahaha

This Kingdom's generation , declares Your majesty
Our hearts are, resounding with Your praise!
We see Your spirit moving, we burn with holy fire
Your glory, is seen through all the earth!

You set eternity in my heart, so i'll live for You...for You...
Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
Honour and praise forever
We'll shout a victory cry from here...to eternity!

I belong to You~

2006-01-07T00:31:00.000+08:00

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that i'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find a way, to bring me back to You

You're all i want
You're all i ever needed
You're all i want
Help me know You are near

You're all i want
You're all i ever needed
You're all i want
Help me know You are near

A promise to see me through~
faith~*

We fall down, we lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of, Your mercy and love
At the feet of jesus

We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
Is the Lamb

Thank you father (:

2006-01-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

The new hayley westernra album odssey is so nice! (: am super glad i have this gift (: thanks Joycelyn! And yays Audrey Nicole Pat and Gen have all replied me and they're all coming for service this Sun! (: Think Saturday's going to be weird without cell...anyone want to go out Sat? (:

Have dance practice this sun before service...(don't worry it ends at 12.15) Suddenly learning dances from Jia yi again (: Her dances flow very well. And I'll see Chrislyn and Rachel! yays! So ya I'm dancing on 15th...so I won't dance on 22nd I suppose...Claire...get ready for 22nd (:

Work at Mos starts next Monday...I hope I don't get counter...haha. Okay even if I do I shall thank God for the job (: And I'll have a personal tutor...Lisa! hahaha (: By the way I'm working night shift...you should come at dinner time if you want to visit me :p

Last two days of working at the coffeeshop...tomorrow and friday...hope I see Candice...I might now that school has re-opened again for her (:

I searched the websites of the two polys I might go to...Ngee Ann and Nanyang..Of course I hope I go Nanyang though...I found that school starts on 17th April for NYP and 24th April for NP...so early...I thought school starts in June..but in a way I'm glad too...at least the break won't be so long I can't pick up studying again...and NYP's website says students can apply for sponsorship for the nursing course...they pay all my school fees..and give me money monthy somemore...so amazing! I always thought they only subsidised my school fees. Thank God! Praise God!

I can use my pay to get a guitar!!!! yays!!! haha and Xiong ge offered to teach me bar chords...
Actually I can do a bit...but only a while...so painful...T_T I shall practice...

But two things...one, I must get into NYP nursing course first.
two...I may need to decide which hospital to work for when I take up the sponsorship. because you must apply with the MOH or the hospital...from what I get from the website...and I have no idea which hospital to work for lah. I always thought I had 3 whole years to decide. Now maybe I have only a few months. I shall start praying about this...hope God speaks clearly....

"I'm here to meet with You, come and meet with me..."

2006-01-03T00:11:00.000+08:00

It's 2006 already! (: haha so much to blog about...so i shall summarise...

Thursday:
Went for dance rehearsal. things were quite messy, but had fun dancing and felt God's presence strongly (: Thank God! Also thank God for Claire and Candy-jie and Danny Loke who sent us home. (:

Friday:
Had my first E7 meeting...God's presence was really there and we closed 2005 with thanksgiving (: worship was so so nice (: PTL for his presence (: Had infomation overload...haha. Good thing we could write things down on the calender..

Saturday:
Combined cell. Thank God for Lisa and Suzanne or I would have gone to TC room 5 instead of expo. Told you the infomation was a lot. So much that I was so blur. haha. Anyway I only slept and hour plus so thank God that I survived the whole day! Cell was good (: Had packing after that..it was really fun...i did 3 'production lines' first which was whistle and the other two the clappers, party popper and 'landlard' (don't know how to spell) After that we moved on to bottles and lightsticks for a while, then moved to sealing and packing envelopes. It was tiring but fun. So the entire day passed. Went to Lionel's place, then had games and food and best of all, worship! Right in the wee hours of 2006 (: it was really nice (: stayed over at claire's place after that. and yays! my brother got to stay over at xian bin's place that night! (:

Sunday:
woke up super early to get to expo...slept 7 hours the night before...rushed make-up...waited in the rehearsal hall until fell asleep for a while on the chair, hahaha. then rehearsal started and after that was a 30min rush to go toilet cum touch up make-up cum dinner cum meet tribe members and also updating Evelyn. then we rushed back into max pavillion to standby, and the doors opened...so cool to see people running in!

The dance was okay...didn't have enough space...but ohwell. sermon was very good, and issac is so cute (: haha. had celebration after that (: then there was a blessing to leaders, and a very touching song. A promise from God to bless, to bring his glory and his peace. Really felt God's presence. Then a pledge to serve the nations, and then praying for a specific country. Obviously, i prayed for Cambodia. Having been there in 2004 really gave me a heart for this nation. I cried remembering the many many lost who are there. A country so broken. physically emotionally spiritually in need. God, send me! We will go for you. we will shout to the corners of the earth that Christ is King...

Lisa's blog really encouraged me. knowing that she has always struggled with serving the nations because she was afraid of the harsh conditions, but reading that she is now willing to go, has made me so happy and proud of her. she has definately grown,and i know that she'll continue to grow in this year as she chooses to 'die to self' and learn to share in His sufferings.

Was initially afriad of being unable to go for mission trips because poly means school in june and december. But i know that if it's God's will that i go, he will make a way. the year started with two situations and many challenges. God came through for me in both situations. And I know He'll hold my hand and bring me through all the challenges and situations to come.

new year. new offerings. new resolutions. new challenges. new blessings...

"But whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ....that i may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ...I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing inHis sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow to attain to the resurrection from the dead." -phil 3:7-11

Here i am waiting, abide in me i pray
Here i am longing for You
Hide me in Your love, bring me to my knees
May i know Jesus more and more

Come live in me,
All my life take over
Come breathe in me,
and i will rise on eagles' wings

i want to walk with You everyday of my life
To talk with You in the good and the strife
You're my friend , You're my father, for all time
Nothing can keep us apart
You're the lover of my heart

Hear the sound, sound of the nations calling
Hear the sound, sound of the poeple crying
Who will go for us?
Who will shout to the corners of the earth,
That Christ is King?

We speak to nations, be open
Powers of darkness, you have to flee
We speak to nations, kingdom is coming near to you
We speak to you, be free

Hear the sound, sound of the nations calling
Hear the sound, sound of the people crying
We will go for you
We will shout to the corners of the earth
That Christ is King

We speak to nations, be open
Powers of darkness, you have to flee
We speak to nations, kingdom is coming near to you
We speak to you, be free

Let Your glory fall in this room
Let it go forth from here to the nations
Let Your fragrance rest in this place
As we gather to seek Your face

Father of creation, unfold Your sorvereign plan
Raise up a chosen generation, that will march through the land
All of creation is longing, for Your unveiling of power
Would You release Your annointing
Oh God let this be the hour

Let Your glory fall in this room
Let it go forth from here to the nations
Let Your fragrance rest in this place
As we gather to seek Your face

Ruler of the nations, the world has yet to see
The full release of Your promise, the church in victory
Turn to us now and touch us, make us strong in Your might
Overcome our weakness, that we may stand up and fight

Let Your glory fall in this room
Let it go forth from here to the nations
Let Your fragrance rest in this place
As we gather to seek Your face

'you once said, "from this day on I will bless you." '

2005-12-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

it's been super long since i've updated. two reasons...i'm very busy. 2nd reason...my brother is using the computer when i'm free. hahaha

MOL was really nice. very touching too. the show's improved a lot since the first time i watched it. this was my 2nd and third time...one with Delia and the other with my cousin, her friend and our nephew...i guess my nephew was too young to really concentrate...my cousin...not the right timing ba...sigh. was initially very upset but after that I was better. i shall continue to pray...

hmm...oh ya, Christmas service the next day...Jia Chiu accepted Christ!! (: yays! was so so so happy for her (: Christmas worship and sermon was nice (: had a mini gathering after that...was quite fun (: heh we wore each others' shoes and all...did some 'turkey' dance...(: had a great time giving people their presents (: especially like the medan girls because they didn't expect it (: it's nice to give (:

loved all the presents that I got too,and was super touched by all my family, especially lionel and xiong ge.Like i came in so last minute, they still purposely go and get gifts for me lah! so nice lor.actually. i always thought xiong ge was quite scary one. but actually he's very nice leh...so far (:

hmm...monday...i woke up super late...cleaned my room...went to pick laurel up at the airport...mings, jocelyn, butt and i were there at 11...had a lot of fun at Macs...taking pictures (: i think the people there probably thought we were mad. hahaha. but the pictures turned out quite nice (:

finally saw laurel after two years at2plus am...and she still looked the same...didn't get fatter or thinner, same kind of clothes and everything...but then when she spoke...she had SUCH A STRONG ACCENT...it was like her voice had completely changed...and the 4 of us...dumbly stood at one corner and kept super quiet...guess we were all quite shocked...didn't really know what to say. it was nice to see her again though (:

went to mings's house to stay...we reached about 3plus am...watched movie till 4.30am...slept at 5 plus...and guess what. woke up at 4.30 am. PIG! sooo pig. almost slept 12 hours lor. ai yoh. rushed home...then thank God, I was still allowed to go for dance..Kelvin tought us the dance...quite simple but still nice (:

managed to drag claire down too. finally! and yays claire, you did ok! could catch kelvin's cheoro (: just a bit more practice and you'll do great (: that 'yours is the kingdom' song is harder lor. i'm still trying to get one part correct. and this was learned last thur?!? val. you ought to practice. and dear jean was there!!!!*shrieks!* i've missed her (: hope she can join dance next year (:

today...wednesday...claire came over and we danced from 12plus to 7plus with two breaks in between. think i'm going to pay for it tomorrow. my muscles will sure ache. unless God helps (: got rehearsal tomorrow. claire's left with 'yours is the kingdom' to sharpen. she's got 'running after you' and kelvins' dance, 'here to eternity' (: yays! (: claire dun flare up at yourself when you practice at home ya?

super tired now...but don't feel like sleeping...haha. got work tomorrow...must get up at 7am...then dance rehearsal tomorrow evening-night...at TCT again...friday...got work again...after that hopefully going out with joce they all (: but claire if you need more practice, it's okay ya...can just come over my house again, i'll slowly teach you (:hmmm...so this is my week so far and what's to come...very busy hor...today's the only day i'm at home all day...for this week...maybe next week...i'll aim to stay home for two days...ohwell.

anyways. i'm excited for new year party!!!! and oh. darren i can't wear those pretty earrings at new year party. because we'll be dancing...but i'll wear it the first service that i can (:

tt assurance. i believe.
i'm still afraid. but at least i noe it's the right way.
and yes, i will obey.

Jesus, I will live for You
In everything I do
I'm holding to You
Always and forever

And when my world is falling down
In You I will be found
I'm holding on to You
Always and forever (always!)
Always and forever (always!)
Always and forever~

2005-12-24T01:16:00.000+08:00

i'm here again (:

just want to thank God

for all that's he's done

seeing me through the mad christmas present shopping rush
it was nice to get presents for you all (:

helping me in dance...
managed to catch yeasterday's difficult dance steps...
starting to like hip-hop(:

esp for the moves he's made
big and small

the physical Big Move to expo... (:

td to yd

the move into E12
okay it's a big thing to me...

and i'm going to trust God in this
after all it's his timing...(:

thank God for the moves to come

work...

yd merging with td...

going to poly...

the moves that i've yet to know...

the Big Move to expo is the physical...God is going to do a big move in our lives...
thank God for the moves he's made, for the moves that are yet to come (:

You will never ever change (:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation-of whom shall i fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall i be afraid?" psalm 27:1

i won't turn back and go their way
i'm running after you
it's you i'm following today
i'm running after you

One way, Jesus,
You're the only one that i could live for
One way, Jesus,
You're the only one that I could live for

God will make a way
When there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to his side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way (:

*bringing friends and relatives to MOL tml. praying...praying....praying...

2005-12-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

okay. having done that quiz thing. i can update in peace (:

sun: woke up pretty late. like 10am instead of 9.30am XD packed all the stuff. rushed to MacDonalds' to get brunch for suzanne and myself. met her 10.45 at the bus stop. waited pretty long for the bus. kind of rushed to expo. met pastor debra and Rachel in the MRT to expo. Pastor Debra remembered suzanne. (:tsk. must be because suzanne tickled her. haha.

not enough time to put on make-up. rushed like mad. kind of panicked while waiting in hall 9 as i wasn't very familar with History Maker. couldn't really remember the 3rd stencil.

worship was great (: "Let Creation Sing" is such a nice song (: And History Maker turned out okay. Thank God (: Felt that joy. Just knew in my heart even as i danced that indeed all the empty back seats would be filled (:

Pastor Kong's message was really good. realised that i missed his sermons to us. he can really preach to the youth. (: Really really wanted to go out. But couldn't because we were supposed to dance History maker again as closing song. In the end, argh, they didn't even play History Maker after the altar call :/

After that Candy jie sneaked us to DE corner where we got to pray for MOL and settle some admin stuff. Then there was E6 meeting and ju, suz, sarah, can and i went mad in carolling with another tribe (: it was really fun. 9 ladies waiting 8 maids a-milking 7 swans a-swimming 6 geese a-laying 5 golden rings...4 hummingbirds 3 frenchhens 2 turtleducks and a partridge in a pear tree (:

Pastor let let us of and we had snack then suzanne butt and claire and i had fun crapping in the MRT. (: suz and i went for dinner, saw ru jia at Yoshi and purposely went to Mos to see Delia and Lisa at work (: Lisa went red and 'um cho'(tried not to smile) when she served us at the counter. and suz was like, calling her 'jie' hahaha (:

went blog-hopping and blogging when i got home. then concussed in my bed. (:

Mon: today. (: went to work...actually i kind of overslept a bit...XD work was tiring but okay....i need the pay hahaha treating people to MOL..must really thank God for the people coming! PTL PTL and PTL (: it's really his grace (: and to me this is a sign that indeed the harvest time is coming. For every harvest event i have been unable to bring anyone. But now, God has answered my prayers (: Jehova Remembers (:

The people that are coming...
1. My eldest nephew
2.My nephew's friend
3. My cousin
4.My cousin's friend
5. Supposed to be an adult cousin but now can't make it so maybe my mum. would release if someone else needs it.

6 and 7 is me and my brother...the whole thing is $32...which took up my today's $30 pay..but i know it's going to be worth it (:

pretty much on a rush for Christmas presents XD i need about $20 more at least. Thankfully i've settled the Evelyn's tribe's presents already. Lucky there's work on thursday. mad mad rush. hope everyone would like the simple gifts (:

My Jehova remembers
He knows. He cares...

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me
He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side,
With love and strength, for each new day,
He will make a way, He will make a way...

Let creation sing to the risen King
Let the universe resound
With a shout of love we will give to You
All the highest praise

Is it true today that when people pray
Cloudless skies will break
Kings and Queens will shake

Yes it's true! And i believe in it,
I'm living for You

i'm gonna be a history maker in this land
i'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
i'm gonna stand, i'm gonna run
Into Your arms, yes into Your arms again
Into Your arms

2005-12-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

I GOT TAGGED BY SARAH AND CLAIRE. sigh. so. yeah. i have to do this. XD

Rule 1: post 5 weird or random things about yourself.

Rule 2: At the end of the post list 5 people whom you want to do the quiz.

Rule 3: Next, leave a comment "you are tagged" on their blog and ask them to read your blog for rules.

1. i love peanut porridge. especially the one near eve's house. (:

2. my pretty manicure is destroyed after washing cups and all at work today with that super damaging dishwashing liquid. :/

3. i collect stickers. not those cute ones. those beautiful ones. like swans and butterflies. my brother finds it childish. but i'm just admiring beauty actually. (:

4. my 2nd favourite music genre is soprano (: (needless to say, the first is christian)
so my 'idols' are charlotte church and hayley westernra.

5. i have 8 nephews and 1 niece. thus i'm an aunty of 9 kids. and my eldest nephew is pri 6 going on sec 1. just 4 years younger than me. the others have a wider age gap from me though. thank God i love kids (:

i want joycelyn, meow teng, lisa, delia and candy jie (:

2005-12-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

FINALLY. the last time i came online was like wed?!? miss blogging and blog-hopping so. (: was busy with the christmas pictures (: should there ever be a blog fast. (probable since there are tv and sms fasts) i think i'm one of those who won't be able to make it. hahahaha.

Thur: Did Christmas pics at claire's house (: had KFC. was nice (: didn't eat KFC for so long. i remember was so sick of it once cus i was in NDP in sec two and KFC was lunch and dinner every sat for 2plus months. after that we went to TC. liked coming back to chapel, it's like so cosy. haha. Did the christmas pics again. rushed home in a cab with juli because i suddenly remembered there was rehearsal at TC for the up-coming service.

The cab ujncle was so nasty. took me home the long way. the cab fare cost $9.90. The most that i've paid for travelling home from TC. usually it's $7plus. Met suzanne and rushed down to TCT. thankfully we were only 5-10 minutes late. PTL!

Dance rehearsal was good (: had a lot of fun praising God. 'Let creation sing' is so nice! And could really feel his presence during the worship songs. (: Thanks God (: And da jie (Candy) looked cute in pink (:

Took 147 all the way home (: nice long bus ride. sat with da jie and we talked (; realised how long i've not talked with her and how nice it was. thanks for that time together da jie! (: ran home with Suzanne, hahaha.

Collasped on my bed after bathing. super tired. ZZzzzzz.... (:

Fri: Woke up late :/ Did Christmas pics but slacked a lot. haha. So i had to pay for it in the night. Slept at 2.30am and woke up at 4.40am continued christmas pics.

Sat: Went to TC. reached at 8.45 and no one was there. Thought I got the wrong place. But it was the right place. Moved to haven from Chapel. And then it was like a factory. many people helped to colour and outline the pics (: Thanks all of you! (: And we all managed to finish it (:
PTL! Preparation worship was so meaningful and great...felt God's presence and joy (: loved being next to Sarah. We had fun doing "Therefore Being Justified By Faith" (: Love you Sarah!

Christmas party started at 7.30pm...all the way to 11pm...it was quite nice...the games felt a bit short though...but they were fun (: And yes claire, you really did ok (: Worship was the nicest part (: but i was so tired i almost fell asleep standing at one point. :/ Then we exchaged Christmas presents...kept changing and changing....so fun (: I got this pig clip thingy at the end. quite cute haha (:

The cell actually gave me a musical jewellery box!!!!! i was so shocked at first. it was to 'appreciate the christmas pics' iwas super touched...I have wanted one for so long....like years...but only decided to try and get one this year...i mean...i kind of started work so i'm more willing to spend on 'wants'....my parents' hard-earned money is too precious...really want to thank all of you who gave me that beautiful gift (: i really love it (: and it plays the song amazing grace! (: I thank God for blessing me with this (:

Laurel's coming back on the 26th (: i wanna go pick her up!!!! (:

ok about today, sunday...i shall bolg tomorrow...and about the 5 weird things about myself too...'kena' from Sarah....hahaha. really have to go sleep soon, still have work tomorrow....yawns....anyone wants kopi...kopi-o...teh...teh-o...etc? hahaha come visit me at the coffeeshop....jk jk...i'm seh le....v. high now...it's a lack of slp thing (:

I have decided, to follow Jesus
I have decided, to follow Jesus
I have decided, to follow Jesus
No turning back, no turning back (:

2005-12-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

Okay. Tuesday, today. (: Because it would really be too long to include everything. And so weird to continue after those nice songs (: So yup. Decided to create another post for today. Woke up at 1.30pm at claire's place this afternoon (: ( we slept at 4.30. 9 hrs of sub-consious slp. because it was too squeezy to fall into a deep sleep.)

We went to orchard to pei Darren to get his christmas presents. After which I left for Youthdance at TC. And no i didn't get a new top. I was wearing Claire's clothes which was a top and a skirt. hahaha. And so Suzanne brought Lisa's PE shorts for me. What weird dance attire. AND. I had to dance bare-footed and without my precious precious contacts. :/

Still. thankfully the dance wasn't that bad. I mean. I was expecting a super difficult and hard to catch dance because I didn't know this song and Darren told me it was a weird song with a lot of off-beats. But thank God, the dance was okay (:

Got to rehearse though. Thursday is the full-dress rehearsal once more. Everyone who reads this post, please pray for Candy ok? Because she has an injured toe and sprained both ankles which obviously means she can't dance if she doesn't get well...so ya...we shall pray hard..Candy don't worry ya? i'm sure you'll get well in time (:

Took a cab home because Suzanne had curfew at 11pm. The cab driver asked us if we went to buy something. We replied we went for dance. Then he asked where. And we said, church. (The entire conversation was in chinese. Which meant we couldn't really understand everything he said and what we could explain or tell him was also very limited.)

And he went on about how church is all fake. And his religon was the right one. That he had supernatural powers. He claimed that he could heal or kill people with his mind. That he colud communicate with 'god' and demons and something else and something else. He said he knew he would have eternal glory after his death. I cried after sending suzanne to her doorstep.

How many are out there being deceived. It is logical even to human minds that to kill is wrong. Yet he apparently thought he did everyone a favour as 'they were proud and deserved to die' Not that i believe he actually killed them with his mind, though it might be possible with demonic power. But that he 'could do something so wrong' yet believe it was right, and that he would have eternal glory in heaven after his death.

Thankfully God's presence was with us, which prevented us from being so freaked out that we would probably have just scrambled out and taken another cab regardless of whatever ulu road we might be at. i'm not shaken in my faith. i know God is real, that Jesus died for me, that God is a loving God. i know my faith is not blind faith. I may have little faith to believe for miracles in my life, but i'm convicted enough to be absolutely sure of these. But i'm glad God brought us to that cab. And I thank God for it.

Holy fire, come burn in my heart
To love a nation that's fallen apart
With compassion, igniting a spark
To bring forth the love of God

Let me see through Jesus' eyes
Let me feel how He would feel
Let me love as He loved
And give as He gave
Oh Lord make me more like You

Holy fire, come burn in my heart
To love a nation that's fallen apart
With compassion, igniting a spark
To bring forth the love of God

We want to run to the altar and catch the fire
To stand in the gap between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference bringing hope to our land

Won't You Lord take a look at our hands
Everything we have, use it for Your plans
Won't You Lord, take a look at our hearts
Mould it, refine it, as You set us apart

We want to run to the altar and catch the fire
To stand in the gap between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference bringing hope to our land

A compassion. A sense of urgency. God, teach me to dance to the beat of Your heart.
more. yes, more.

2005-12-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

It's going to be a super long post. This is a caution to those who can't stand long posts. Because i'm not going to summarise stuff. A bit tired already mah. haha. Yesterday, Monday:

Went to 'work' at the coffeeshop with my dad...it was the only the third time that i've worked there, yet I was like...when will be four...when will it be four...because the working time is 8am-4pm...and it's quite's tiring...becuase you are not busy all the time...it's a busy, then slack, then busy then slack kind of job...which is somehow more tiring than being busy all the way...plus i didn't sleep enough the night before...slept at like 4am...then woke up 7am...

The first two times that i went, only needed to serve drinks, clean tables and keep the used plates/cups etc...but this time, had to make drinks and wash cups/dishes too...cus the other adult helper not around...but quite fun...learnt how to make kopi, kopi-o, teh, teh-o, chinese tea, milo, and the kopi, teh and milo peng....heh. But i couldn't catch the less common orders like add milk/sugar, less milk/sugar, and evaporated milk...so my dad still had to make those...haha

Also realised how extremely bad my maths was...and how essential maths is...as in mental sums...because i needed paper and pen to do working...which of course i don't have...ended up giving some people wrong change..think my mental sums would get better if i continue to work there. 'intangible benefits' hahaha.

Went to parkway to get my brother his birthday present with the $30 I just earned. Got him a Christian CD and card (: went home and slept. super tired. Then woke up, bathed, changed and went for dinner to celebrate my brother's birthday. We went to this Japanese restaurant in Ang Mio Kio. It claims to be the cheapest Japanese restauraunt in Singapore. And the food was nice too (:

Went J8 and strolled around while waiting for Claire and the rest. Because we were staying over at her house. (: Brought my brother to see the Ha Ha crab thing. And he actually wanted it. Ohwell. Anyway he has the money lah. Cus his godfather gave him a lot for his birthday. haha. met claire, darren, gavin then went to mac donald's because they amazingly hadn't eaten dinner. And it was 10plus can. Then kevin joined us. After dinner we headed to claire's house. Sang worship songs in the bus and on the way there. it was nice (:

We all went to kevin's room upon reaching claire's house. And commenced our random worship. You wouldn't believe what that led to. Because personally i'm still very amazed by it all. The random worship was soooo powerful. God's presence really came. Ended up crying a lot. It was really very amazing. And God's presence was so strong. As in, we could really feel so much of His presence and love for us.

Sang this song I never heard of. "If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulder, I know my brother that He, will carry you through" something like that. And I actually saw a vision!! Which is, VERY AMAZING. I mean, I've only seen a vision once, and that was in the tabernacle. So. You can imagine that it was a really powerful worship.

I saw a rainbow. A rainbow is sign, a reminder of God's promises to us. That God will carry us through whatever challenges/struggles we are facing, that's a promise. And God was assuring us that indeed he has not forgotten this promise to us. He has never forgotten any of His promises to us. JEHOVA REMEMBERS. Remember that Jehova remembers. Remember His love. That was probably the best summary of what God was speaking to us that night during the random worship.

I don't want to forget this experience. I want to remember and put into action what I've gained from this wonderful time. Don't forget that Jehova remembers. (:

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulder
I know my brother that he will carry You through

Say to those who are fearful hearted
Do not be afraid
The Lord Your God is here with His mighty arms
When You call on His name
He will come and save, He will come and save You

He will come and save You
He will come and save You
Say to the weary one, Your God will surely come
He will come and save You

Draw me nearer to You, nearer to You,
Fill my life with Your presence, the way You want to
Till my soul is ablaze, each and every day
Draw me nearer, nearer to You

2005-12-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

THE BIG MOVE WAS TODAY (: I worshipped on the way there to prepare my heart for platform later. God's presence actually came and somehow I ended up singing that song in claire's blog. And I felt that compassion for the lost stir within my heart again. Ended up tearing on the way there. I really thank God for blessing me with this. Because I had kind of lost that compassion sometime around july. Was such a gradual, subtle thing to lose compassion that I didn't even realise it. Until Encounter. And today was a prayer answered for me, a prayer I made for God to renew that compassion for the lost in me.

Expo is so huge and cool (: Dance was okay for the first two songs. Felt very happy. A different kind of joy (: The joy that comes from worshipping God and wanting to run after Him, of knowing that He is the way, the truth and the life.But when the third dance came, 'Tell the world that Jesus Lives', they dimmed the lights at the back suddenly. Not completely turned off, but it was dark back there.

It jolted me. I realised suddenly that it was more than just these seats being filled. It was that many people were still living in darkness and hopelessless. And bringing these people to salvation, to the way, the truth and the life. That they can live free and experience the joy that we can. And I felt that compassion stirred up in me again. Couldn't dance properly after that. My thoughts were distracted. But I was so glad that God spoke to me. And so so glad that He really answered my prayer. Not to the full extend yet, but I know it'll be accomplised in His time. Indeed, Jehovah remembers. (:

Was very touched by the sermon. Very very touched. Many times, I've been impatient with God's plans. I'll trust in Him and wait on Him. Everything will be alright. He hears every prayer and remembers every promise that we've made, that He's made. He is a God who remembers, who's there with us every step of the way. A God of faithfulness. (:

Did okay for the closing song of 'Tell the World that Jesus Lives' (: I know that it's God's anointing (: For each song that we danced, even the worship songs that we didn't, His presence was there and indeed He has helped us to do our best for Him.

We're gonna claim this land, we're gonna take our stand,
We're gonna do it, we're gonna do it
Till every tongue confess, till every soul is blessed
We're gonna do it, we're gonna do it

Till our hearts are filled with compassion
And our lives desire to see salvation

We will go win this nation, make disciples of all men
With our faith in Christ Jesus, united we will stand
With the power of His spirit sweeping all across this land
We will march on in power, until that day He comes again

Teach me to dance to the beat to the beat of Your heart
Teach me to move in the power of Your spirit
Teach me to walk in the light of Your presence
Teach me to dance to the beat of Your heart

Teach me to love with all Your heart of compassion
Teach me to trust in the word of Your promise
Teach me to hope in the day of Your coming
Teach me to dance to the beat of Your heart

You wrote the rhythm of life, created heaven and earth
In You is joy without measure
So like a child in Your sight , I dance to see Your delight
For I was made for Your pleasure, pleasure

Let all my movements express, a heart that loves to say yes,
A will that leaps to obey You
Let all my energy blaze, to see the joy on Your face
Let my whole being praise You, praise You

There's gonna be a revival in this land. We believe, we believe, it is now~

Valerie: Determined Purpose
Wait on the LORD, be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen thine heart,
Wait, I say, on the LORD
psalms 27:14

#31 still not up yet? okay God i surrender. use me...

2005-12-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

I'm going to fall asleep any moment. So I don't know why I'm still here. I love my blog so much meh? Apparently so. (: Slept 3 hrs last night and 5 hrs the previous night and I had packed days today and yesterday. Was fun though (:

Had the run today!!! Sarah and I decided to run the 2km...I'm glad we did, it wasn't that long after all plus we had a great time. Couldn't pray as well though. Must say that Joce, Claire and Jean were quite "power' haha...somemore they had to hold the heavy baton...but it was symbolic and definately very special...it's great that our church should actually have a run all around Singapore to pray, in conjuction with the Big Move (:

Ended up at Claire's house with Jean to draw the Christmas pictures. Thanks Claire for opening up your house to us (: And Claire's parents never fail to amaze me each time that I see them in her house. Their hospitatlity is like, the standard of 5-star hotels...actually, probably even better. I've never met more hospitable people. Really very blessed by them.

Jean and I took so long to just plan everything and like, get the main idea cum verse. We were so excited after that. I suppose we drew okay, but were horribly behind schedule. Intended to finish drawing 3 pictures today, but only managed to finish 1 and a 1/2. :/ so sad...but we were super tired and all...hopefully, we would be more productive on mon and tue. God, help us...the deadline's friday...and we really want to do a good job...

The Big Move is TOMORROW (: (: (: Faith Community Baptist Church is moving to the Max Pavillion at Expo!! Our tribe is the privilaged first to do platform service(: I hope we'll all sing well dance well and most importantly worship well (: service is going to be powerful tomorrow (: I know it'll be a great and meaningful day (:

Come to His courts, with praise on our lips
Our hearts and our minds and our souls worship Him
Bow on our knees, lift up our hands
Joining the angels above

Declaring holy, holy
Is the Lord God almighty
Who was and is , and is to come
Holy, holy
Is the Lord God almighty
Who was and is, and is to come

Take joy my King, in what You hear,
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear~